Phew! Mrs. Hillbilly
Mom had a bit of a fright this morning at 5:15 a.m. She was the only one up at
the time. She takes the first shower every morning. And that’s where it
happened. In the master bathroom of the Mansion.
You know how, in that
movie Silkwood, when Cher brings
home that beautician from Thayer’s Funeral Home, Diana Scarwid, and, Diana says
she always knows when somebody worked for Kerr-McGee, the plant that Meryl
Streep is trying to get investigated for lax radiation safety procedures?
Because, as she says, “They always look like they died BEFORE they died.”
Well…that was almost Mrs. HM this morning.
No, I didn’t almost
die. And I was not frightened by anything dead. But I almost took a shower
BEFORE I took a shower!
I slid open the shower
door and reached in to turn the giant crystal (okay, it’s clear plastic, but it
LOOKS like crystal) knob to start the water. And all at once, a shower of cold
water droplets rained down upon my noggin, wetting my lovely bed-headed lady
mullet with a spray that cascaded from above, where there was no shower head.
If you’re not a
science teacher, you may never have heard of the angle of incidence equaling
the angle of reflection. It’s true. It works for light waves bouncing off of
mirrors, and for Putt Putt Golf balls bouncing off that parabolic curve on the
last hole so you can win a free game. And apparently, it works for well water
sprayed out of a shower head bouncing off the top of a Scrubbing Bubbles
Automatic Shower Cleaner.
Yeah. I had no idea
what was going on. It was like I was trapped in a hole in some freakish
woman-killer’s basement, and he had told me to rub the lotion on my skin, but I
was feeling contrary, like, “No freakish woman-killer is going to tell ME what
to do!” and I had not done so. Which meant that I got the hose again.
Maybe Mrs. Hillbilly
Mom is a fan of too many old movies. It was just a little cold water splashing
out of the shower over the top of the sliding door. Only this, and nothing more.
4 comments:
Oh, you didn't warn us there was going to be some high-falutin' science stuff slipped in.
Next time, allow us to prepare ourselves...
Sioux,
It's easier if you don't know about it. Like when you lay your baby down on the exam table and talk soothingly to him, and then FOUR NURSES GIVE HIM TWO SHOTS IN THE TOP OF EACH PUDGY THIGH!
Had that happen to me, too. It was like being washed down with the power washer!!
Kathy,
I'm sure it's a man-made conspiracy, that Scrubbing Bubble Shower Cleaner...at first making us think it makes our life easier, then proving that it doesn't.
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