Thursday, May 12, 2016

The Hillbilly Family Is Geographically Challenged

Okay. Perhaps Mrs. Hillbilly Mom didn't learn until late in life that England is an island. I KNOW! Can you believe it? (The island part. Not Mrs. HM's delayed knowledge.) But at least she can pick up context clues.

So...last night, on our way to a school award extravaganza, through a severe thunderstorm, being pummeled by hail the size of persimmons...I turned to Farmer H and told him the Newmentia softball team was playing in the state sectionals today against Play-Toe.

"Oh. Texas?"

"Um. No. That would be PLANO."

"Oh yeah. Plano, Texas. Not Play-Toe."

"I'm surprised you didn't just say, "Oh. Colorful modeling clay that's non-toxic?"

Seriously. That would have made just as much sense. Because as far as I know, the state softball tournament generally involves teams that play within one's own state, and are generally held within one's own state.

Let the record show that Newmentia took 2nd Place in the Missouri State Tournament last year, and just this evening defeated Play-Toe to advance to the Final Four next Friday.

I hope somebody breaks it to them gently that they will not be playing in Texas.

Please excuse Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's creative spelling. Google is her enemy.


Sioux said...

Okay, I had to look it up. I hope I got it right.

Plato IS in Texas (county, in Missouri) close to Houston (Missouri).

We are one screwed-up state.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah. Don't even get me started on Nevada, Missouri. Pronounced NeVAYda, close to where I taught my second year. Kind of like Cuba, Missouri, where I taught my third-thru-fifth years. My dad made a few work trips to California, Missouri, too.

Sioux said...

Don't forget Haiti, Missouri which is pronounced (I think) Hay-Tie.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I DID! I forgot Hay-Tie! And while we're forgetting...there's always Cabool. Which is probably a Missouri-ization of Kabul. And Lebanon! Right down I-44! And Warsaw! By the lake!

I'm really excited now. It's a small world after all...