The Pony speaks little. The following information was pulled from him like several wayward teeth.
His date fit in his truck.
His date's grandma pinned on his boutonniere that thwarted me three times.
He fishtailed on the wet roadway pulling out onto the highway.
He took the lake road to the venue.
He parked in Mario's lot. (Don't you worry about Mario. He went out of business years ago.)
His date chided him for parking so far (about 50 yards) from the door, even though he had offered to drop her off and park.
He was not the FIRST one to make a mess, but the second.
He thought the punch dispenser shut off when you pushed down on the lever. It does not.
He was NOWHERE NEAR the table that collapsed.
He and Datie danced, (an affront to the vision of his prommates), but not a slow dance.
Coronation was early, due to threatening weather.
He took Datie to Steak 'N' Shake afterwards, where he had a garlic butter burger, and she had fries and a shake.
He returned Datie to a different address from where he picked her up, the new address being off one of the most dangerous traffic areas in the county.
His date asked him to text her when he made it home.
He was really tired.
Now you know as much as I do about The Pony's prom experience.