Thursday, April 12, 2018

Mrs. HM's Timing Is Off

Nothing has been going right lately. Oh, my life has been right enough. Not complaining. Well. Any more than usual. No catastrophes. But my luck has disappeared. Trickled out of me like those sands through the hourglass in these, the days of our lives.

So it's no wonder that my inadvertent washing-out of my own mouth with soap came a few days too late. Not in a timely manner, when it would have served a purpose.

Let the record show that three weeks ago, I mailed an Easter box to Genius and The Pony. I crammed as many treats as would fit into those flat rate boxes. A couple of items didn't fit. One of them being a box of Easter Sweet Tarts. Let the record show that there is no truth to the rumor that I bought too much, knowing that some would be left. No siree, Bob! Even the overflow used for HOS's boy's Easter basket did not use it all up.

I don't know if you are familiar with Easter Sweet Tarts. They have the same tangy deliciousness of a regular Sweet Tart, but are in the shape of ducks, bunnies, and chicks. Same regular flavors: pink, yellow, green, blue, purple. You know that leftover Easter candy is a terrible thing to waste. So some nights, I would count out five Easter Sweet Tarts. They only have five calories apiece, you know. I didn't consciously set out to get one of each color. I just shook them out of the box. But last week, I picked out five blue ones. The purple are my favorite, but I didn't want to eat them all at once. Blue is a close second.

Well. When I went upstairs for bed, and stopped to brush my teeth, I saw that my tongue was BLUE! Huh. That might explain the feeling that something was coating my tongue, drying it out. I just figured it was the tangy-ness of the Sweet Tarts. Maybe my taste buds had been burned by the citric acid that makes them so tart.

I brushed my teeth and TONGUE. Gave special consideration to the front part that was so blue. More vivid than my favorite ratty old baby blue sweatshirt! But that blue still didn't come off! No manner of scraping and brushing and sudsing with Sensodyne would remove that blue from my tongue! I figured it would be gone by morning.

It was not.

I was a bit self-conscious during my errands. Even though I'd scrubbed again during morning toothbrushing. That blue didn't go away for TWO DAYS!

I'm wondering now if that Bath and Body Works soap might have done the trick.


Sioux Roslawski said...

What kind of dye would have that kind of staying-power, Mrs. Font of Scientific Knowledge?

River said...

I've never heard of Sweet Tarts, obviously we don't get them out here. To me a tart is a small open pastry shell filled with jam then baked. Or some other filling, usually lemon flavoured. I'm going to need pictures of these Easter Sweet Tarts.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Beats me! But maybe I should start using it on my HAIR!

These Sweet Tarts are hard candy that are kind of sour. And sweet! I'll try to get a picture. There were no good pics on the innernets, because I already looked, trying to find those Easter ones to go along with the story.

Sioux Roslawski said...

HM--How about taking a picture of YOUR Sweet Tart eggs, or are they all gone from the shelves?

And you're ready to become a blue-haired woman?

Hillbilly Mom said...

You know how I prefer to keep things impersonal, and never share information about my life!

Apparently blue hair is all the rage, AND young folks are actually getting their perfectly good hair colored GRAY!!! So says Genius, anyway.