I am freezing my nose and fingertips off sitting at this kitchen table trying to type. There is no verifiable draft, but I cannot get warm. The wood surface of the kitchen table is like ice. I have on a shirt and two jackets. I try to rest my wrists on the table with a buffer of the two jacket sleeves, but I'm still freezing. I have to warm one hand at time, against the skin of my neck, under my lovely lady-mullet.
Meanwhile, Farmer H lolls about in his recliner, wearing only a pair of tighty-whities! What in the Not-Heaven is wrong with him! AND he just got up to go to bed, but made a stop at the front door, opening it to peer out and see if the snow that's forecast for Monday night has started! No snow, but the draft he let in found its way to the kitchen to surround me.
"I am SO COLD! I'm putting on my other jacket. I need some gloves without fingertips."
"It's not cold in here, HM."
"You know the 12-pack of my Shasta soda sitting on the floor by the wall in the kitchen? It's ice cold when I take it out to put in the fridge."
"Ha ha. It's cold from sitting on the floor. Not because there's a draft."
"I don't think that's normal, for soda on the floor of a heated house to be ice cold!"
Farmer H says I'm crazy. That it's NOT cold in here. That there's NOT a draft in the kitchen. That if I can prove to him there's a draft, he will plug it up. Heh, heh! That's bold talk for the man who left the kitchen door open an inch-wide crack yesterday morning from 6:40 a.m. until shortly after noon when I discovered it!
I don't know how I'm going to stay warm this winter while trying to keep up with my innernetting. I need one of those Russian hats like George Costanza got on Elaine's account while she was running J. Peterman, and then left it at a date's house, where it disappeared. I will NOT be getting the Nutria version of that hat...
4 comments:
Yes on the hat and some fleecy fingerless gloves. I have knitted fingerless gloves that I bought several years ago and wear them every day in the winter. might I also suggest a nice thick quilted tablecloth? Or at least a folded towel across the end where you sit to keep your wrists warm.
I think there's usually one spouse that's hot while the other is cold. I'm usually the hot one but after sitting outside today for recess duty, I decided I'm just getting too old to be cold!
River,
I'm going to look for some fingerless gloves online! No need to be miserable. The towel is a good idea. I have tried using a paper towel, but its insulating properties are not the best. A tablecloth would be in the way of me writing out checks, and Genius's weekly letters. I might also bring in a beach towel to put across my lap, like an old-timey sleigh ride person would use a blanket.
Angie,
I used to wear several layers under my coat when I had parking lot duty at the high school. And kept my hood up, too! I would have worn one of those face mask sock caps, except that it would have messed up my lovely lady-mullet!
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