The Long Trumpets Are Blaring A Fanfare

It's a fanfare for the common mom! Victory for Mrs. HM! She has slain the TurboTax beast, and stands triumphant with her foot upon its throat. Okay. That's just wishful thinking. The foot-to-throat part. I would obviously topple over from my nonexistent balance. But I DID slay the evil TurboTax beast! I DID!

Poor, poor Farmer H, so clueless in the ways of tax forms, had our mail-in version of the tax returns printed for me at the UPS Store. He hands his phone to the gal, and she turns my email attachment into papers for him! Such a wizardess is she. However... what Farmer H brought home was a stack of 40 papers printed FRONT AND BACK! Actually, two such stacks, since I wanted two copies of the set.

Tax forms are confusing enough without trying to figure out what goes where! They should be filed in numerical order of forms and schedules and worksheets and such. If you drop them, or somebody picks one up to look at it, you might get the second page of one mixed in with the first page of another. Nobody wants to search through all the tiny print at the top to see the name of that second page.

However... you work with what you have. I sat down at the kitchen table Wednesday morning to start numbering those papers with a blue pen. A tiny number, upper left corner, where it would not interfere with the black printed number on multiple pages of various forms, showing the sequence for that specific document. 

I was also multitasking, waiting for computer pages to load. We had a hailstorm, then sun, then rain, then more hail, then gray skies. It was a virtual weather cornucopia. Something for everyone. THEN my internet quit. I was hoping it was just the satellite signal due to the weather. But the TV was still working on its satellite. And my connection icon showed I had a signal. I was spitting mad at the thought that I might have to go down those 13 rail-less basement steps and unplug my router and satellite.

I busied my time with numbering the first set of tax forms. Paid the flip house water bill, which got here amazingly fast this time, not being due until the 15th, when last month we got it on the 13th. I added up Farmer H's cash outlay list for the flip house labor during March. I shut down my HIPPIE. Started him again, with the same results. Then did a restart, which for some reason takes longer. Addressed the envelope for Genius's weekly letter. Put on stamps.

Then I tried my internet again, and IT WORKED! So I fired up TurboTax to try my alternate plan to just e-file the federal tax return, and mail the Missouri return that needed the $25 fee. But first... let's give it one last try with the double electronic filing.

I think I felt the flap of cherub wings as they circled me in a single shaft of sunlight shining through the dark clouds! That last TurboTax page TOOK ME TO THE PAY SCREEN after only one minute of the white pop-up screen of death!

I put in my credit card info, and the screens progressed as normal, and my tax returns were submitted!!! Sweet Gummi Mary! I was giddy with triumph! I called The Pony and said to send those returns RIGHT NOW, while the system was working! 

Meh. The Pony did not seem so excited, though he did allow me to rejoice. The Pony said he'd try to get to it in the afternoon. His taxes are done, it's just the submitting left to do. I hope the TurboTax beast does not regain its strength before The Pony has a chance to take advantage of my victory.