Friday, March 30, 2012

One Hand Scratches The Other

I'm a bit late getting this story out tonight. That's because I'm having trouble typing with both hands. Don't you worry about Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. She has not suffered a debilitating injury. Au contraire! You might even say Mrs. HM is just teeming with life tonight.

Today at school, a student asked me who she should tell if she thought another student might have head lice. I'm hoping my recoil was not all that noticeable. Ever since that incident, I have been scratching. And scratching. I feel like mini critters are crawling all over my scalp. And my neck. And down my spine. And in my eyebrows. And on the backs of my arms.

Since the school nurse was not due to arrive for another couple of hours, and the host in question was in this girl's next class, I sent her to the office. With strict instructions, of course, to keep her mouth shut if anybody was in there besides the secretary. And not to accuse, but to simply say she suspected. And not to mention a name unless nobody else was in the office.

I think the mission went well. Tattler waited for another student to clear out before broaching the subject. She did admit that an administrator was there, but if you can't trust an administrator with pertinent health issues, who CAN you trust?

Tattler said the host has long hair, and sits at the desk in front of her. Host's hair has been hanging down on Tattler's desk. She brushes it off. And yesterday, she saw some tiny visitors. Not wanting to host a hair party of her own, she came forward to launch an investigation.

It will be an itchy weekend while I wait to see what develops.


knancy said...

When I worked in a federally funded rural health clinic, I carried a can of R&C spray in each pocket of my lab coat. I didn't stay at that job long! So much for my trying to help the poor. Now I see that these little critters are cropping up everywhere! Bedbugs, too! What's up with this? Running water, dish washers, clothes washers and dryers and we have infestations? Where's my Clorox wipe? Argh!

Sioux Roslawski said...

But I know you are a HM who loves science. Don't lice need a host? Don't you feel guilty shunning "the circle of life" (and can't you hear Elton swelling up for the big crescendo as we speak)? Don't you feel bad with your there's-no-room-at-this-inn attitude?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Yeah. I don't get it. It's not like we're mountain men, taking a bath every spring whether we need one or not. And supposedly, the creepy critters are infesting movie theater seats! So...folks can afford to see a movie, but not soap, shampoo, and detergent?

I would rather be liceless, listening to Hakuna Matata.

As a relatively new reader here at the Mansion, you are, perhaps, happily ignorant of my trials and tribulations as the sole host to the entire contingent of Hillmomba ticks for the past six summers. I rarely set foot off the porch, yet I alone am infested. Hick can wallow in the woods like a wayward Huck Finn, yet nary a flat, spotted arachnid dares attach to his folds of flesh. So I have done my part as a delicious, though somewhat ungracious, host to vile parasites.

Or, if you prefer the short-answer version: no.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am with you on the lice! My body needs no parasites. You will recall my flea infestation last year. Fleas, the lice of dogs. And, thanks to you, I am now itching!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Behold. The power of suggestion.