Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Story Almost Too Fowl To Write

The Newmentia cafeteria served chicken nuggets today. I took a tray, because mashed potatoes were also on the menu. The chicken nuggets probably came from banty hens, because they were the size of nickels. I told my dining colleagues that it must be because breading is cheaper than that pink slime stuff they make the nuggets out of.

The nuggets tasted all right, what with a tub of honey mustard sauce and another of BBQ sauce in which to drown them before swallowing them whole, like big ol' potassium pills.

An hour later, my lunch was settling nicely. No banty chickens trying to peck their way out of my large intestine. No spuds congealing in my lower gastrointestinal tract.

And world was turned upside down, inside out by a visit from the #1 son. He showed up at my classroom door as I was monitoring the hall between 4th and 5th hours. He held out his hand to show me a treasure. Not a four-leaf clover, a blob of mercury, a rare species of beetle, or even a tiny portion of the money he owes me. No, this was one for the record books. Or the Weekly World News.


My tummy felt all rumbly. That is not normal. Not acceptable. Not even a good joke. I asked #1 if he showed it to Mr. Principal. Nope. I told him he REALLY needed to show him what is being served to the students (AND TEACHERS!) of Newmentia.

#1 grew surly. "I'm not showing that to Mr. Principal!" He stomped off before I could ask for his specimen. And on his way past the cafeteria, I saw him throw it in the big gray trash can! Evidence destroyed!

I SO wanted a picture of that for my blog. Even if it gave me the dry heaves all afternoon.


Sioux Roslawski said...

You're lucky you guys don't get charged extra for those "extra" tidbits. Here in the big city, if you want any hair, or any insect parts as part of your food, there's an extra charge.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Well, we're still better off than those REALLY rural schools where the students have to catch their own chickens!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I think it might be better to not really know what you are eating. Ignorance is bliss, you know!

Hillbilly Mom said...

There's not enough ignorance in the world to make eating a chicken feather embedded in a nugget bliss!