I think I saw Death down at Mailbox Row last Friday. Hanging out behind a tree, leaning on his scythe. I couldn't tell if he was bleary-eyed from the heavy traffic at his door, eager to get on his bed. I don't even know if Death was warmed-over. That could have been the day temperatures hit 87. But it might also have been the day in the 60s. So unpredictable, Missouri weather. But not Death.
I had just stepped out of T-Hoe, and was making my way along the front wheel-well, leaning as I do, using T-Hoe for support on the unsure footing of the gravel. I was almost to the blacktop, to cross that road and retrieve our mail from EmBee, the mailbox.
Crunchity crunch crunch crunch. Here came a small gray SUV past me, kicking up a cloud of dust. That's to be expected. I sometimes rue the decision to hop in T-Hoe right after my shower, since my own cloud of dust settles upon my wet hair the moment I step out to get the mail.
Anyhoo... I paused at T-Hoe's front bumper, so as not to step out in front of the small gray SUV, which I assumed would turn right, and go up the hill towards town. But no. That small gray SUV pulled across the blacktop, and cozied-up alongside Mailbox Row, facing uphill, on the wrong side of the road. Farmer H does that sometimes, if I've tasked him with getting the mail, so he doesn't have to get out and walk.
This was not very polite of the driver of the small gray SUV. He saw me hobbling toward the mailboxes. No question why I was out of T-Hoe. It's not like I was headed across the gravel to the creek, for swimming or fishing. I wasn't bent over checking my tires. I didn't have the hood up looking for an engine problem. I had not waved him down for help, or to ask directions.
Even RUDER was the fact that the small gray SUV sat there at least 5 minutes! What in the NOT-HEAVEN? Nobody takes that long to get their mail. Nobody takes that long to STEAL everyone else's mail! I can only surmise that this rude inconsiderate self-centered scoff-manners was
READING HIS MAIL WHILE I STOOD AGAINST T-HOE WAITING FOR MY RIGHTFUL FIRST TURN!
People Piss Me Off. That's my slogan, and I'm stickin' to it.
3 comments:
To be fair, he had no way of knowing for sure you were waiting to cross the road, you could have just been taking a break from driving as far as he knew. On the other hand, why don't you drive across to the mailboxes like everyone else does? There's no traffic police out there and it would save you time.
You keep forgetting. They are the exception. They don't have to follow the rules. The laws do not pertain to them. The Earth revolves around them.
Next time, thank them for the privilege of being near them... they're sooo special.
River,
To be fair, he would have to be an idiot looking for a unicorn when he hears hoofbeats, not to know my purpose for parking and walking towards the mailboxes.
When I return home, I park by Mailbox Row, and get out to get our mail. Occasionally another resident stops behind me, for the same purpose. I get the mail, get back in, and drive off. I don't sit there and read the mail while making someone else wait.
I can't do it going the other way, because T-Hoe sits too high, and I can't reach down out of the window to pull the mail out of EmBee. I'd have to park in the middle of the road to have room to open the door and get out. So it wouldn't save many steps or seconds, and I'd be blocking traffic both directions.
***
Sioux,
They are sooo special that there's probably a special place reserved for them SOMEWHERE later...
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