Farmer H needs to answer for this! I'll not have it. I'll not have it, I say! His hoarding habits have become dangerous to the very health of his family!
Sunday afternoon, I sent The Pony over to the BARn to bring back some FREE MEAT. The Ponytail Guy's meat. I wanted a bag of chicken on the bone, and some loose sausage. The first for BBQ in the oven, and the second for spaghetti sauce on Monday. The Pony said he'd do that while I was in town.
When I returned, The Pony was a bit slow coming to the garage. I didn't really need or expect him, since all I had to carry were my purse and magical elixir. But here he was, leaning in the passenger door to grab my stuff.
"Oh, Mom."
The Pony generally broaches a serious topic in that manner. A bit nervous. Not wanting to get me riled up. Then he continues after I look at him and inquire further.
"I'm getting kind of upset with what Dad has done to the BARn. You know... how he's junked it up. He can't even open the big door anymore, he's got so much stuff in front of it. So you have to go in through the little door in the lean-to part. You know where the light switch is, right?"
"No. I haven't been over there in a while. But he's sent me pictures, and I see all the stuff piled around."
"Well, you have to go all the way across the main BARn to get to the light switch for that part. It's really dark, you know, because there's no windows. So I'm going over there through the dark, to turn on the light, and I didn't know he had piled CHAINSAWS along there! Look what it did."
The Pony put his foot on T-Hoe's running board, and turned his leg sideways.
"Oh, no!"
"I'm all right, Mom. It's just my pants. Look at that."
The Pony stuck his finger into the hole, on the side of his right leg, just below the knee. His pants had been cut open by the blade of a chainsaw! Thank the Gummi Mary, his tender flesh was not chewed-up. To be fair, they are very thin pants. Almost tight-like. Not quite pajama jeans. They are at least camouflage patterned. Perhaps the hole won't be very noticeable. I don't know how to sew up a chainsaw hole in such fabric. Not that I ever sew anything, anyway.
You can bet this will be the topic for Sunday evening's "This Is the Time of Day When We Discuss the Most Recent Thing You've Done Wrong."
I guess Farmer H owes The Pony a pair of pants. And thankfully not a new leg.
Alternate Titles:
Baby Needs A New Pair Of Pants
Hillmomba Chainsaw Damager
2 comments:
You are absolutely right! This cannot go unpunished. Farmer H needs to sort his stuff and stack it properly so as to have clear pathways and door entries. Just imagine the fear and confusion if a fire should break out while people are in there with no clear run to a door or window.
Also a light switch needs to be installed near the smaller entrance.
I'm glad The Pony was not hurt. Patch the pants with a spare piece of fabric maybe a pocket from the pants that doesn't get used and will match perfectly.
River,
Today, Farmer H loaded a whole truck bed of junk from the BARn, and took it to the dump (recycling center as it's called). I think maybe he felt a bit guilty, even though he surly-ly told me last night while The Pony was in the tub, "HM, there IS a light switch by the door as you go in."
Like The Pony, who has been gone during the four years of the hard-core junking, would know that. Besides, it was probably behind some junk!
No pockets on the pants. The hole is about the size of a quarter. I haven't seen The Pony wear these pants out in public. They're barely pants at all. Kind of like football pants. Stretchy, and go just past the knee.
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