Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Hope Dares To Rear Its Oft-Disappointed Head

Something really good is going to happen to me tomorrow. I'm sure of it. Even though it's duty day. Because today was one of those crap sandwich days. I would embellish, but I've already closed out my feces series this week.

All day, I've been fighting a sinus headache that even ibuprofen at 10:00 a.m. didn't touch. He's my go-to guy, that ibuprofen. Perhaps I should have wasted some time in a dalliance with acetaminophen first. Then called in my closer.

Because Even Steven loves to set me up royally, he gave me a surprise this morning. Two, actually. Because he's that kind of guy. I had some down time yesterday while my students were working. So I copied their names into the Old Red Gradebook I use to keep track of individual assignments and attendance. So easy to keep track of missing work that way. What with it being the third day of the new semester already, when the counselor stops fiddling about with schedule-changers, I thought it was safe.

Today I got two new students. That means their names are all cattywompus in the Old Red Gradebook. I have to mark a notation at their true place so that I don't enter a column of grades for the wrong students.

I attempted a short voyage to Study Island, but was thwarted by a missing passport. Of course, the lone doler-outer of passports was not available. So I had to call the Study Island embassy for my own identity. I must say, they were quite efficient and polite. Might have something to do with calls being monitored.

Kyocera is whining on the control panel that TONER WILL BE EMPTY SOON. But then spitting out copies with bands of gray on both sides, making my assignments look like old-time black-striped convict uniforms. That's kind of like a beggar crying that he has no shoes while he is tossing a footlocker full of them one by one out the right rear passenger window of a speeding PT Cruiser.

When I got home, I hugged Farmer H, who spent the day at a safety conference in Rolla, and now I smell like a man who went to a safety conference and wore real clothes like a company chambray shirt instead of a uniform service shirt and hoped there might be a woman of some kind present...and now I smell like a cologned-within-an-inch-of-my-life man.

I can't wait until tomorrow.


Sioux said...

Yesterday I ran from the scene of a crime. I jammed up the copier (a new one, one that I don't know how to take apart like the old one) and tried to unjam it, to no avail. I had to get my students, so I left it---unuseable---scurrying away without leaving a note.

And yesterday was the day we needed to copy our report cards (each one is 5 pages long and full of large blocks of black ink--only a man would design a report card like that).

I watched, from a distance, as the police came in, took a report, and blocked off the area with yellow police tape.

Another crime I've gotten away with...

Hillbilly Mom said...

You are a scofflaw. Next, you'll be peeing in the corner of a parking garage. Snatching a marble rye from the hands of an old lady. Keeping a library book for 20 years. Parking in a handicap spot so a lady in a faulty wheelchair has to cheat death.

One of these days, you and your three pals are going to end up in the slammer.