My boys have a new pet.
Actually, they each have one. No feeding necessary. They are Fridgezoo pets from ThinkGeek. I might as well just go down a page on that website every November, and order two of each item. That should do it for Christmas shopping next year. My boys like gadgets. I couldn't pass up these little creatures.
Okay, so they're identical. The Fridgezoo pets, not my boys. Though some people comment that my offspring LOOK JUST ALIKE. In fact, the only way I can tell some of their toddler photos apart are by the clothing. Which is a task made even harder when I second-guess myself about hand-me-downs. Anyhoo...we were delving into the mysterious world of the Fridgezoo.
I had to get two fridge pets alike, because otherwise the #1 son would have grabbed the best one, and left The Pony to grouse about the unfairness of life. Besides, what kind of mom buys one blue Fridgezoo and one pink Fridgezoo for her two boys? Not Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, that's for sure! We don't hold for that political correctness, blurred-gender-role crap around here. Are you kidding? Farmer H's best friend used to complain when his wife bought him a purple shirt. Because according to his backwoods logic, purple is a girl color! Don't tell that to our student body. Half of them would revolt.
I have since seen other Fridgezoo denizens, but they are not offered on ThinkGeek, which only had two choices. So both of our Fridgezoo pets are blue. They both say the same phrases, and speak with the same accent. I say it is Hispanic. The #1 son scoffs. He declares that his tiny fridge pet speaks with a Chinese accent. Because it was made in China. Au contraire, mon fils. The Fridgezoo are of Japanese extraction. But it is NOT a Japanese accent. Take my word for it. We had a Japanese exchange student when I was in high school. Konichiwa, Rie Yoshimura!
One ice box pal sits atop the uppermost door shelf of Frig, just behind the plastic flip-down cover, beside the medicine for Farmer H's glaucoma. We tried to keep it a secret until he opened the door. In fact, he walked by while The Pony and I were standing with Frig's door open, listening to our cool pet, and he didn't notice. The hearing impaired are such fun to prank! Farmer H said later that it took him several minutes to figure out where that voice was talking to him from. Even though it sat right beside his tiny bottle of medicine. Chalk the vision-impaired up on that pranking-fun list, too.
The Pony placed his new pet in the mini fridge under the basement stairs. That's where all the soda is stored. At least once a day, The Pony has to fetch one for himself or Farmer H. Now he has some interaction with more than his laptop on these lazy, hazy days of Christmas break.
When I open Frig's door, I am greeted with, "Howdy!" Or "Hello!" Hold the door open a little longer, and the inquisition starts. "What are you lookeeen for?" Or, "SO many choices!" Maybe, "Hey! I'm trying to stay cool!" Hold it open too long, and you'll get, "Shut the fridgin' door!" The #1 son and I have a habit of talking back to our little pal.
Neither one of us uses an accent.