Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Scandal Avoided

I was stealing time before school yesterday, making use of my new early-arrival plan to pen some thoughts. At 7:45, I heard my classroom door open. It was The Pony. We get to school by 7:20 now. It works out great, avoiding school buses on the way. The Pony trots off to the gym to do his homework. I put the finishing touches on my lesson, or catch up on paperwork. I don't see him again until 3:00. Yet here he was. The Pony.

"Aww...did you come to see Mommy?" He was not amused. Something was amiss. The Pony pranced skittishly around the perimeter of my classroom. I could have sworn he'd gotten into some locoweed. He blinked. He swallowed. He crossed his arms and dug at the flesh of a forearm. He couldn't quite put his words together. I listened. I watched. And it became clearly evident...

The Pony had come to school without his pants!

No, it was not a case of indecent exposure. The Pony's haunches were not on display for all to see. He had a Chemistry lab before lunch, a lab in which no exposed legs were allowed.

"I forgot my pants! I need them for Chemistry. We're having a lab today."

"It's okay. What's the worst that could happen? You can wear an apron. Some guys used to wear shorts on purpose to wear the apron."

"Aprons aren't allowed anymore. I need pants, or I can't go in the lab."

"So you'll have to make it up after school one day. She stays after. And we're here all the time." This did not calm The Pony. "I can't go home now. I don't want Grandma driving on our detour road. We've kept her off of it for six weeks. Only two more to go."

The Pony was making noises in his throat not normal for a pony. I picked up the phone and called my mom. She lives for these rescues. She always stays by her phone, on call, until the time school starts.

"I'll go right out there!"

"You'll have to go in through the laundry room, since we didn't give you a key when we changed the locks."

"Okay. I'll have the pants there as soon as I can."

It's a 30-minute drive for mom to get to our house. The Pony went to class. His pants arrived 90 minutes later. He was practically rearing with joy when I called him out of class. After school, I asked if he was really as upset as he looked.

"It's not like the world was ending. You could have made up that lab one day after school."

"But I'd have to write a ten-page report for not having pants!"

Apparently, The Pony is not as fond of writing as he claims.


4 comments:

Sioux said...

I would imagine The Pony could have created a very creative 10-page report on pants.

Velvet pants. Pants without underpants. Pants filled with pennies to pay for an Italian lunch item. Pants paired with a ruffly pirate shirt.

Oh, The Pony could pull it off. I'm sure of it...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Let's hope The Pony doesn't pull off the pants and drape them over the back of a chair to save the crease until his chem lab performance.

Sioux said...

Darn! I know there was at least one "pants" story I missed. Of course you did NOT...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
You can call me "The Master." Kind of like "The Maestro," but not.