Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is angry tonight, my friends. Angry, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. Like a humpty dumpty with a melon head who doesn't have hand. Like the biggest seller at The Jerk Store, out of stock.
I'm having computer issues. All because I tried to access the Newmentia page with my teacher password to change one little grade by five points, because I was too busy in class, and didn't click on it right when I saw the error. Seems that we can no longer launch our program from home unless we have Java. So I go to download Java, and infect myself with a virus. But thank the Gummi Mary, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has a BFF spelled G O O G L E. After some crafty searching, and some fine-toothed-comb going-over, I found a cure for my ailment. Even The Pony, laying on his hooves, could not solve my complete problem. BUT I DID!
The Pony got my home page back. Not an easy feat in this newest Firefox. Not nearly as simple as it used to be. Then the problem was the new tabs. They wouldn't open up blank for nothin'. Always with a dang search something-or-other. So I finally found out the real name of my problem, and uninstalled it. Then I had to uninstall a not-so-active version of its accomplice.
So there, #1 son! Read it and weep. Mom fixed her own problem. You didn't have to be all Nick Burns, company computer guy, elbowing me out of the way, sneering "MOVE!" and rattling across my unloved keyboard with your long alien fingers in a manner that made sure I could not keep up and eventually catch fish for myself. Toss me the head, tail, and bones, and take off. I did it on my own. I am HM, hear me roar.
Of course, I still can't access my grades to correct that five-point error, and I've wasted an hour. But my New Delly is whole again.