Saturday, January 25, 2014

Every Ga-rage Has Its Pooper

Farmer H spent several minutes yesterday afternoon fiddling with my broken garage door spring. Instead of removing it and letting me go get a replacement made this morning. At least he manipulated that door into full openage. Then he drove T-Hoe inside. I don't know what he's been doing every time he pulls his $1000 Caravan in there each evening that makes him so oblivious, but he came into the Mansion all a-flutter.

"Something has been pooping in the garage!"

"Yes. It's been like that for about a week now. Right along the wall by where I get out. At first I thought it was just a pile of leaves that blew in. Then I stepped in it one day when I got out. What do you think it is?"

"It's them cats!"

"No. They haven't done it before. They just vomit. Besides, you put in that new cat door for them. And it doesn't smell like cat poop. That's very distinctive."

"It's them cats."

"I don't think so. I rented a house one summer with five girls. One had a cat that had kittens. She couldn't get them out from behind the sectional couch. They crapped all over the wood floor. It stank like...well...like...um...crap! I'll never forget the smell of cat crap. That's not it."

"What else would it be?"

"I don't know. A possum? A raccoon? You said a raccoon came in through the cat door. I've seen a possum on the porch eating out of the dog pans."

"I don't know what it was, but it wasn't just one pile under those leaves. There were turds all down that wall! I'd say there were five piles!"

"Huh. It just looked like leaves to me. Did you shovel them out?"

"Yeah I shoveled them out! It was them cats."

"No. I don't think so. You need to pour some bleach out there on each spot where the poop was. That'll keep whatever it was from pooping there again. I would do it, but I don't want to splash bleach on my clothes."

Heh, heh. Shoveling poop is a man's domain. Besides, he pays for a uniform service. Too bad, so sad, if his clothes get blotchy.

5 comments:

Sioux said...

After he passes the "clean the poop" test, perhaps he can enroll in the "pick your underwear off the floor" class...

knancy said...

I can't believe he didn't blame Juno!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Oh! Stop! Don't make me laugh! Pick his underwear off the floor? It's been 24 years, and he hasn't learned to do that yet. Even though it's a condition of me doing his laundry.

*****
knancy,
I know. That is, indeed, shocking. However, Juno has been out of commission with her big fat foot, so her as scapegoat did not enter his mind.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You are right about cat poop! It is an odor you never forget. Smells so much worse than dog poop!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Oh, yeah. There's no mistaking that one.