Thursday, January 30, 2014

Like An Elephant, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom Never Forgets

I saw a bunch of cousins today at a funeral. One scooted over the pew to greet me in the middle of a conversation with my favorite gambling aunt from the other side of the family.

"Oh, I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Well, I remember the exact moment I last say YOU! There I was, changing a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, ten miles out of one town, twenty miles from the next, and you zoomed by on your way home from work, and WAVED to me. Uh huh. With a big ol' smile on your face, so happy to see me, your own flesh and blood, waving like the Queen all hopped up on tea and crumpets, flying past, never to return."

"What? I didn't stop? I do remember seeing you there beside that little store that was closed."

"Yes. Darkness was falling. I had my tiny spare, lifting it on, tightening the lug nuts."

"You knew how to do that?"

"Yes. My daddy taught me when I learned to drive. Don't you know how to change a tire?"

"No. But I have emergency supplies in my car. So I could have stayed warm and hydrated. See? I woudn't have been any help to you."

"Well, if you had stopped, may you could have stood along the road, and a man might have pulled over and helped. I hope you're pleased with yourself."

"Maybe I should learn how to change a tire."

"Maybe you should. Because I won't be stopping if I see you along the road."

Family. There is no substitute.


Sioux said...

Maybe when you see HER stranded on the side of the road, you can toss out a tire iron in an ever-so-helpful way...and hope it hits her somewhere where it hurts.

Hillbilly Mom said...

She would not be so well-protected in her silver foil blanket, sipping a bottle of water. That tire iron might rip a hole, and cause her to hypothermeate. Or send a snort of water up her nose, causing a near-drowning. I'm better off just to give her the royal wave.