Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Ear Bone's Connected To The Stomach Bone!

I gave a test all day.

You may not realize, you givers and takers of insurance, you nurses busy saving people's lives, you ice road truckers, you tooth-sucking House of Charlatans Optical Delusions Emporium and Professional Prevaricators Shoppe old-lady blinders, you hair-butchers, you muffin-top bakers, you Jack de-nimbling candlestick makers...but tests require grading.

With it being the end of the semester on Friday, and Mrs. Hillbilly Mom really needing to make quick work of this tedious task, she announced that any student with music upon his/her person could use headphones to listen to it after turning in the test. This perk is a rare bird in Mrs. HM's classroom. A regular passenger pigeon. Or some may say a Dodo.

All was not for naught. Mrs. HM learned something today. No, her heart did not grow two sizes. Or even defrost. She was enlightened on the shady subject of weird human anatomy.

Did you know that the ear bone is connected to the stomach bone?

It must be. Because no sooner had one lass forked over that ledger of accrued knowledge than she retreated to the main aisle behind her desk, and stretched out prone on the speckled asphalt tile.

"Eh-eh-eh!" tsked Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. "You must sit in your chair. I don't recall giving permission to take a nap, or dust mop my floor with the handbags and gladrags you poor old grandad had to sweat to buy you." Wait. Maybe that's not exactly what I said. That was Rod Stewart singing in his raspy voice.

Seriously. Who hears "listen to music" and thinks it means "lay down on the floor?"

This ol' gal wasn't born yesterday. That Superman position is not gonna fly in my classroom. The lass crawling on her belly like a serpent arose from her not-slumber, after admonishing me to, "Chill. I'm getting up." Yeah. You really have to know her. This was a total victory for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. A less formidable adversary would never have gone unscathed by such lip.

So there you have it. Update your Gray's Anatomy reference tome. The ear bone's connected to the stomach bone. You can't listen to music unless you're laying down.

You heard it here first.


Sioux said...

Are you sure you aren't a kindergarten teacher?

Kids crawling around on the floor...doesn't sound like high school.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Why would you want to lie down on the floor? Gross! She must really love attention.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, it's anarchy! One kid stretched out on the floor in the last ten years. Call the immaturity police!

I absolutely positively would not want to lie down on that floor. Not with Cus being out for nigh on two months now. The replacement is not so fastidious. And yes, this kid is the epitome of attention-seeking.