Whew! Pardon me while I take off my pith helmet and wipe the sweat from my brow with my inner elbow. What a day, here at the water hole on the Serengeti! Who knew that watching jackals tear wildebeest limb from limb would be so tiring for Mrs. Hillbilly Mom?
Wait! Did I say water hole on the Serengeti? What I meant to say was that I spent all day sitting by my yellow bubba cup full of melting ice water behind my desk in the classroom. Jackals ripping apart wildebeest? Oh! I am so, so sorry. What I meant to say was that I watched students ripping covers from textbooks all willy-nilly in an effort to grab one not checked out to them before the start of class.
That, my friend, is a major item on Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Don't Even Think About It List. You are supposed to bring your book every day, or forfeit your free participation points. Especially off limits are books on my tables or bookshelves. They are not checked out to you. So they're not yours. Leave your book in your locker, do without your book. Take the assignment for homework. That'll learn ya! Tough love, baby, tough love!
I checked out books last Thursday. Some are in sad shape. The librarian says they should have been sent back, because they are of poor quality. She ain't a-woofin'! She got a special machine last year that glues the guts back into the skeleton of the textbook. She'll earn the cost of that gadget just by fixing that one set of my textbooks. So...we sent five books per class period down to the library Friday, and she got some of them done and brought them to my room.
Those students thought it was a free-for-all! They were like wily brides-to-be elbowing the competition at Filene's Basement Sale. Like piranhas swarming a dainty pedicured toe dangled over the side of a dugout canoe on the Amazon. Like metal filings rushing to the red magnetic wand to give Woolly Willy a Van Dyke.
Okay. So a couple of kids forgot their book in the locker, and thought they could simply pick one up because it was laying there, all inviting, beckoning to them, "Grab me. I'll make you smarter."
I put a stop to that toot sweet!
This is gonna be a humdinger of a year.