Friday, August 1, 2014

I Have A Little Shadow That Pays Ten Bucks A Day To Me

Alas. Woe is the #1 son. There he was, riding high on his RA wave, making plans to use the spare desk in his private room as a base for his 3D printer and camera accouterments, and to shove the two beds together to make a California king...when he got an email this afternoon informing him that RAs will be having roommates.

THE WORLD CONSPIRES AGAINST MY BABY!

He is a bit disappointed. Now he can't move all of his stuff to school, because he won't have room for it. And he only has a few weekends off, so he doesn't know when he can get the rest from home. The only silver lining in this dark cloud is that the university will pay the RAs for housing a roommate. Kind of like tying a pork chop around a kid's neck so the dog will play with him, perhaps. Pity the poor freshmen who find out they will be rooming with the RA.

"It's only 29 beds. I don't know how this is going to help anything. They say that within six weeks, they think they can have all students placed in permanent rooms."

"At least you're going to get money out of it."

"Well. Not exactly money. It goes into our student account. It's like company credit. Like, if we worked in the mines, and they gave us credit at the company store. However...if there's still a balance at the end of the month, they'll cut a check and send it to you. YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE ME THAT MONEY!"

"Yes. You poor thing. I'll make sure you get the money. Just think how that student is going to feel. 'Great! I have to live with the RA. There go my Mason jars of pot I was going to keep under the bed.' Maybe you'll get lucky, and your roommate will get locked up, but you'll still get paid for him!"

"Whatever. Maybe I can just pile all his stuff over in a corner, and tell him that's his space. I'll work it out."

He's already calculating his windfall. It's 100 dollars for the first week, then 10 dollars a day until the roommate goes away. Not a fortune. But a nice chunk of change for a college kid. I daresay he won't have to sell his plasma until well past mid-term.

4 comments:

Sioux said...

Isn't this a Missouri college? If it is, more likely it's meth, not pot, that the roommate brings.

I imagine #1 has it all down in his books--down to the last penny, so don't try to deduct a few bucks for the massive amounts of food he eats and for the laundry privileges he enjoys when he comes home for the holidays.

Otherwise, he might consider it a loan and will charge you interest.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Actually, that reference was ripped from the headlines. A kid down the hall from #1 was arrested for having Mason jars of pot under his dorm bed, about two weeks into the fall semester. Funny thing is, he wasn't kicked out. I guess they had to wait for a trial.

I know better than to try and cheat #1 with his funding. I do need to start keeping a record of charges he incurs. Maybe I can break even.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I thought pot went in baggies, not Mason jars .....

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
This kid must have been a mixed-up hillbilly. Or else his mom did a lot of canning, and never packed him sandwiches for his lunch.