If Only We Could Perpetrate Such A Scam

Perhaps I've mentioned how my mom sends the #1 son five dollars a week while he's away at college. To her, it's a lot of money. To #1, it's the thought that counts. He has told her, "Grandma, that money really comes in handy. I get it on Thursdays, and I can afford to have lunch on the weekend if I want." He's a big fan of the Dairy Queen five-buck lunch. He appreciates the card, and she feels like she's really helping him out. In fact, she has secretly revealed to me that this year, she plans to send #1 SIX dollars a week!

This morning, I shared the news that even though #1 is an RA this year, he's going to have a roommate. I included the details concerning how at least he will get paid with credit at the company store, and how the university thinks permanent room assignments will be made six weeks into the semester.

"Oh. That's going to make it hard for me to send #1 his money."

"Why? Do you think he's going to get a thief for a roommate?"

"No. I'll have trouble with his address."

"I'll give you his new address as soon as he gives it to me."

"But...how will I know where to send it after six weeks? It might get lost when he moves."

"HE'S not moving! His roommate will get moved into regular housing. #1 will keep his RA room. The other kid will just move out."

"Oh! I thought he would have to move again."

"Hey! Wouldn't it be funny if you wrote a little note in his first card: 'I know you have a roommate this year, so I'm sending six dollars. You can give him the extra one.'"

"Oh, don't get me tickled!"

"Or...you could say, 'Here's an extra dollar in case you want to do something nice for your roommate.'"

"Stop! What if he gets that kid from home that he doesn't like?"

"That would just be the icing on the cake! I can see it now! One of them would try to kill the other. That would solve the double room business."

"Poor #1!"

"I don't know what he'll do to some poor freshman. He said he's going to pile the kid's stuff in one corner and tell him, 'That's your space. This is MY space.' He might only give him half a closet, now that he has a precious suit to take care of."

"You know...I MIGHT put something in that first card about the extra dollar being for his roommate!"

If only we could see his face when he reads it...