Friday, May 22, 2015

Dr. Pepper Has Been Kidnapped!

It takes a lot to put one over on Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. Especially if one is of tender years, nowhere near as finely-aged as Mrs. HM. However...there are times when even Mrs. Hillbilly Mom second-guesses herself. Perhaps a sign of dotage, due to her advancing years.

This morning Mrs. HM found herself in such a situation. Though the end result was the same, two possible scenarios were flipping a coin in Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's head.

Yesterday, a soda was left on a desk in the back of the room. Let the record show that sodas are not permitted in Mrs. HM's room. Nor water, nor milk, nor juice, nor coffee, nor Monster. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is an equal opportunity dehydrator. The reason being that a classroom is for learning. It's not a cafe, a canteen, a coffee shop, a snack bar, a diner, or a truck stop. The only exception is the class after lunch, which is allowed to bring in their lidded unfinished drinks, but must have them in a backpack, or set them on the windowsill or the desks against the back wall that are unoccupied. Times are hard enough without making kids waste their parents' hard-earned money that they spend on soda (sugar free only) from the machine in the equipment room every day at lunch.

I noticed the soda as I straightened the room at the end of the day. It was a 20 oz. bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, sitting all alone on a back desk. I moved it over about four feet so it sat next to my wire racks that hold hand-back papers. Less conspicuous. No need to advertise a soda in the room, for freshmen to question, they NEVER being allowed to carry in beverages. I did not throw it away. Usually the owner remembers, and comes back for it. In fact, somebody left a cellophane-wrapped chocolate rabbit head on a stick on the windowsill over Easter break. And re-claimed it the day we returned. That Dr. Pepper looked unopened to me. I didn't see a little crack between the plastic lid and the ring that's left below after you snap it open, but then again, I wasn't wearing my glasses. I figured one of my after-lunch kids would claim this afternoon.

Well. I entered the room after first bell, having just returned from my duty way down the hall, and saw Mr. Dr. Pepper sitting on top of a desk in the second row. There was no soda by my paper racks where I had left it.

"Why is this Dr. Pepper here? It was on the back desk where I put it. Now it's here. None of you even sit here."

"Oh. Thirsty put it there." Said a dude who was sitting at the desk adjacent, not his assigned seat, either. Thirsty soon returned from turning in a book to another teacher.

"Why do you have that Dr. Pepper? Wasn't it on the back desk when you came in?"

"Oh. Yeah. I was just seeing if it still had carbonation."

"Put it back. It's not yours. Somebody might come back for it."

"Oh. Okay. But who's going to want an opened soda?"

"It looks like you did."

Seriously. Either Thirsty scammed a brand-new unopened Dr. Pepper off my back desk, or she, herself, was planning to drink another person's already-opened soda.

Both scenarios which Mrs. Hillbilly Mom finds distasteful.

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