Saturday, May 16, 2015

The Secret Of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Success

Every class period, after the bell rings to dismiss the pupils to their next class, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom walks from the back corner of her room, where the control center is located due to a plethora of wires dropped down along the wall from the ceiling, and goes to the hallway to supervise foot traffic. By the time she reaches her doorway, there are already new pupils pouring in the door. Sometimes, her room seems like a graveyard: people are dying to get in!

Each day, there is a helpful pupil who pushes the door back against the wall, allowing others to barge in ahead. "Hold it right there," says Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. But this time of year, they know what to do. Then she puts her right foot upon her long wooden doorstop, and with one smooth move shoots it across that doorway and under the door. VOILA! Door propped by the doorstop.

Last week, one of the members of the Puffs-eating, Germ-X spraying class walked in at the very moment of stoppage. "OOH! Like a BOSS!" So impressed was he that he continued singing the praises of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's doorstopping acumen.

"You must finally be on time," replied one young lass. "Mrs. Hillbilly Mom does that every day. She's a ninja!"

Indeed. Later in the day, one pupil wished that doorstopping was an Olympic sport--because Mrs. Hillbilly Mom would have a gold medal.

Much like the way to get to Carnegie Hall is practice, practice, practice...the way to learn Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's doorstopping technique is to do it six times a day, five days a week, 174 days a year, for 15 years.

Doorstopping is not an innate skill.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

Only one more year and a few days left to hone that skill to a fine art.

And when you're retired, what will you be a ninja at?

By the way, I was going through some NYMB books, and came upon your story about The Pony performing. And performing. And performing. I don't know how I missed it until now, but I laughed (a lot) as I read that tale.

You should be coming up with your own collection of stories. You have enough material and talent. And soon you'll have the time...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I'm the honingest honer who ever honed!

When I'm retired, I'll be a ninja at avoiding things Farmer H wants me to do while he's at work.

Collection of stories? You flatter me, Madam. I am merely a reporter. Perhaps I can strive for the Pulitzer Prize...

ummm said...

You're so awesome lol I love your blog. But I just recently stumbled across your secret blog and I must say I may be more enamored with this one than your other one! :)