Monday, November 2, 2015

That's Hallway Robbery!

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is mad as not-heaven, and she’s not going to take it anymore! She is going on strike! Yes. On strike! Not like one of those teachers’ strikes where the only people who don’t ever benefit are the kids. No. Mrs. HM is not a collective bargainer. She can continue to do her job, all the while making the entity she strikes against suffer in its pocketbook.

Yes. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is on strike against EXPO Dry Erase Markers and Pilot Precise V5 Rolling Ball pens! They are against the little people. The teachers who depend upon them to get through the day.

This is not going to be one of those weird strikes, like in an ‘80s Afterschool Special where the mom goes out and lives in a treehouse and her household falls apart because her underappreciative husband and kids can't function without her telling them to breathe in/breathe out. No. This is Mrs. Hillbilly Mom taking a stand. Refusing to buy another EXPO Dry Erase Marker of Pilot Precise V5 Rolling Ball pen.

Here are the two latest deceased nags in Mrs. HM's stable of writing implements.


Yes. They expired Friday afternoon. Mrs. HM couldn't bear to part with them under such sudden circumstances. So she kept them, in their regular habitats, until this morning. The shock having worn off over the weekend, Mrs. HM realized that her right-hand men would be of no use to her now. So she gave them a burial in the circular file.

Here's the deal. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom does not expect her writing implements to last forever. These two old soldiers served her well. No, it's not that these two died before their time. It's the problem of their replacements.

YOU CANNOT BUY THESE TWO AS SINGLE ITEMS!

That's a fine how-do-you-do for a teacher. Making her buy FOUR EXPO Dry Erase Markers to get a blue one, and FOUR Pilot Precise V5s to get a red one. That's HALLWAY ROBBERY! Heh, heh, see what I did there?

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom refuses to spend her hard-earned money on superfluous writing implements. Why, she already has three extra green, black, and red EXPO Dry Erase Markers, and two extra green, black, and blue Pilot V5s waiting on deck until it's their turn at bat.

That's right. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is on strike! She will not buy another four-pack of EXPOs or Pilots. After those two packs she bought yesterday.

2 comments:

Sioux said...

Perhaps once you're retired, you can volunteer at the DP and repackage the pens and markers, to help out teachers who are NOT lucky enough to be retired yet...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
OOOOH! I would put all BLUE markers in the EXPO four-pack, and all RED V5s in the Pilot Rolling Ball packs! That way, the teacher gets what is needed. Not the fluff.

Of course, I hear that SOME teachers, like in Shangri-La Elementary, get their Dry Erase Markers FREE OF CHARGE! I guess they have hitching posts for their UNICORNS out front. And a sign in the teachers' LOUNGE, over the margarita machine, that says, "Co-Workers Don't Let Co-Workers Ride Drunk." Then they go swim it off in the secret pool.