Monday, April 3, 2017

Farmer H Is Not Like A Bus...There Won't Be Another One Of Him Come Along In 20 Minutes

Well, leave it to Farmer H to make it look like I misspoke! We drove to the city today to cash in my big winner at the lottery office. Let the record show that it was not a selfless move on Farmer H's part.

I got up at the crack of 8:45 when the phone rang. We won't go into what that call was today. Let it suffice to say that the call was not for me, nor Farmer H. And that he was out of the Mansion, roaming the grounds, or in town eating a major breakfast at the grocery store deli. He returned as I was taking my morning thyroid pill, putting together a package of tax forms to mail to the #1 Son.

"If you want to...we can take your ticket today."

"Well, that would have been nice to know last night. I'm getting these forms ready to send #1, and I have to get them to the post office. He has to sign one and send it in. I've got the whole thing addressed and stamped for him."

"I just thought you wanted to go today."

"Well, I did. But when you said we were going Friday, I didn't take my ibuprofen last night, because I'm supposed to skip it every third day, and now if we go, and you take me by the casino on the way home like we planned, my knees will hurt a lot. AND it's already 9:00, and I thought we were going to leave at 8:30 on the day we go, to have more time, and I still have to take a shower and get this to the post office."

" long as you're home by noon, we should be good."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll just have less casino time, and sore knees. If you'd told me last night, I could have taken the ibuprofen, and gotten up earlier. It's because there's rain today, right, and Friday is supposed to be clear?"


Too bad Farmer H can't look ahead 10 days in the forecast like a teacher normal person would do.

Let the record show that we left home at 11:10, got my check for the ticket, went to the casino for a burger and gambling, and just got home at 6:30. It's probably a good thing I didn't stay longer.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Farmer H--like most men--can't find his butt with both hands and a compass, so why would you expect him to look at the week's weather and use his mental capabilities (do men have those?) to ascertain when it's probably going to rain and when it'll be clear?

What have you been smokin' or snortin'? Or is one of HOS's 'shrooms that's responsible for your crazy thinking?

fishducky said...

Re Sioux's comment--AMEN!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I know full well that Farmer H can't find his butt. If he could, he might just wipe it 10% of the time, and save me from wiping down the toilet seat.

Ixnay on the ompasscay! Now Farmer H might get an idea to build a COMPASS SHED!

Smokin' and snortin' and 'shroomin' and prayin'...wasn't that a Dusty Springfield song?

Unfortunately, I think I just ASSUMED that Farmer H would know something about the shed-buildin' forecast.