Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Whose Bright Idea Was THIS?

Farmer H is oft-maligned here at the Hillbilly Mansion. It's not that I have a vendetta against him. It's just that his actions so perfectly lend themselves to malignment.

Take his purchase at Goodwill on Monday. Oh, there's more to the story of THAT trip. But not today. Farmer H found some LIGHTS at Goodwill. LED lights, he says, that will burn a long time, that he won't have to change in awkward areas of the Mansion when he's old(er) and infirm(er). In this bargain, he got lights for our master bathroom. In fact, he went BACK to Goodwill Tuesday after work, to get MORE of these lights. He put in a few Monday evening. And Tuesday evening, he finished replacing them ALL.

The SUN itself would need to wear sunglasses while getting ready in our master bathroom. To protect itself from the light of 10,000 suns emanating from over the sink. Sweet Gummi Mary! I can only imagine what damage will be done to my eyes every morning, behind their protective eyelids, as I slumber under the high-beam of those LED lights reflected off the decorative mirror shelf on the bedroom wall, and directly into the windows to my soul. It won't be LASIK surgery. It will be LASER surgery. I'll probably close my eyes but there will be holes burned through the eyelids so that you can always see the irises.

Woe is Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. What hath Goodwill wrought?

Let the record show that Farmer H's decorating choices should not come as a surprise.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Apparently Farmer H wants to make sure he's seen when he does his "Risky Business" dance.

Hillbilly Mom said...

He's not exactly Tom C. Even in dim lighting.