Saturday, April 22, 2017

Not ME, By Cracky!

A few days ago I noticed an anomaly on the parking lot of Orb K.

Let the record show that Mrs. Hillbilly Mom had nothing to do with this destruction. NOTHING!

The Truth in Blogging Law requires her to inform you, however, that once upon a time, when T-Hoe was just raw ore in a quarry, Mrs. HM backed a GMC Yukon into such a light pole at the Office Max over in Bill-Paying Town.

The boys were younger then, but not so young as when the #1 son professed his life mission to be a job as a clerk at Office Max. And not so far back as when he asked Santa to bring him a FAX machine for Christmas.

Anyhoo...I was over at Office Max getting some school supplies for myself, I imagine, when they used to send out a notice that teachers could purchase everything they could fit in a store-provided paper sack for $50. Or something like that. Various electronic items excluded, of course. So I left the boys with Farmer H (WHAT was I thinking?) I'm sure I dropped them off with my mom instead.

When I came out, I walked around and opened the hatch and put my big paper bag full of treasures inside. I knew that pole was there. It wasn't directly behind me. I had pulled through to the next row so I could drive forward to get out. EXCEPT some scofflaw was pulled up in front of the door, waiting. I had to back up a little to get the right angle to drive forward out of the lot. I looked in the mirror. I turned my head and looked. This was not some fancy souped-up top-of-the-line SUV with a backup beeper. I could see the pole. I was nowhere hear hitting the pole, when


My bumper hit that concrete pole-holder. Seriously. Those things should be outlawed. You can't see that low in a large SUV. I thought I had plenty of room left. I was only going about a turtle's speed. No damage to the pole or the concrete. A little dent in the bumper. The Pony still finds that episode hilarious. He only wishes he had been with me. Not that he would have helped me avoid the collision. Like that time at the bank I asked him if anything was behind me, and he said NO, and then I backed into the guy with the meth beard and the pit bull, because The Pony later said, "Oh. You wanted me to TURN AROUND and look?" I had a chance to snap a picture of that Orb K mishap, and sent it to The Pony.With the message

"I didn't do it!"

"Wind or human-controlled combustion fueled machine, do you think?"
(We had really strong winds yesterday here)

"I imagine it was a truck. There was a big tire rut the first time I saw it."

"Truck, then. It just seems strange for there to be a double bend. One in the metal, one in the concrete."

"If that was the wind, I'm glad I was in my dark basement lair!"

I know the wind comes rushing down the plain in Oklahoma. I didn't know it rushes so hard that it blows over light poles in concrete holders.


Sioux Roslawski said...

At first I saw nothing strange. Then, after reading your post, I looked at the photo again and saw the pole parallel with the ground.

You can't blame me for not seeing it right away. Crazy things happen in your town. People run amuck all the time... And some of the muck-runners have things attached to sticks that they brandish.

Hillbilly Mom said...

What were you looking for, a giant wooden birthday cake to celebrate 150 years? That's under the overpass, on the next corner.

Muck-runners gonna do what a muck-runner's gotta do. Surely you should know THAT, Madame. The most shocking thing of all is that EVERY light pole in Hillmomba is not parallel to the ground.

fishducky said...

I LOVE Pony's question!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

The Pony definitely has a way with words.