Am I the only one who abhors crumpled money? Oh, I'll TAKE it, but I won't be as happy as if those bills were neatly stacked, all facing the same direction. Here are the bills I got back in change from the Hardee's drive-thru on Friday, when picking up lunch after my errands.
Sweet Gummi Mary! Was that gal handing me ones from her personal stash, after a night contorting herself on the pole, receiving bills tucked into her G-string? And I'm NOT talking about a guitar.
I tried to straighten them out at my next stop. Because I couldn't even fit this wad down in the side of my purse. I had to drive off from the drive-thru with that mess lolling on T-Hoe's dusty console.
The straightening didn't take. I laid them down flat, but those bills drew themselves up again like the legs of a newborn infant. I set them on their edge for this picture, but they simply would not lay flat. I had to uncrease some corners, line up the ends, then put a long crease down the middle to make them hold a shape. Then I tried to stash them down the side of my purse in my standard half-fold. They skittered into their own arrangement.
People sure don't know how to take care of their money these days.
3 comments:
I hate crumpled money. HATE HATE HATE. I'll take it, same as you, but back in the good old days when we had paper money, I would set the bills between tea towels and iron them flat. These days it isn't so easy, our "paper" money is plasticised and once creased it's pretty much forever creased. I usually try to fold the crease back on itself along the exact line, but it doesn't always work, but being plasticised I can wash them in warm water then press them between layers of towel with extremely heavy books on top until they dry. Most often I'll stuff them in a cotton drawstring bag that I use for buying loose oats etc from The Whole Foods store and then take the crumpled notes to the bank and exchange them. It just depends on how crumpled they are and if I can be bothered with the wash and press process.
If she got them from her pole-dancing side-job, the fact that they're crumpled should be the least of your worries.
Think about the bodily juices (and I ain't talkin' 'bout spit) could have adhered to those bills...
Or, if she was particularly limber, perhaps she grabbed the bills with her BARE toes. I know that would bring you a huge heap of joy contemplating that bare foot rubbing itself all over those dollar bills.
You have adventures no matter where you go...
River,
Sweet Gummi Mary! You are like a world-class money-launderer! And I mean that literally, not in the criminal sense. I have stuck some larger bills in a book to try and straighten them, but the smaller ones I try to spend as soon as possible.
***
Sioux,
ACK! Juices don't horrify me nearly as much as they should, compared to the thought of TOES touching my money!
Post a Comment