Tuesday, June 9, 2020

This Is Hard To Believe, Yet Not

You may recall that there has been a series of unfortunate events here at the Mansion, now that The Pony has returned. We've had the most recent catastrophe of the La-Z-Boy destruction. The abandoned bandaid on the carpet. The clean brown plastic bowl used to store FRIG II's excess ice during the chipping of the bin, which was put in the dirty sink to drain. The excessive butter usage. The butter in the laptop keyboard. The butter packed down in my plastic measuring cup. The lack of hot water for my shower, and dishwashing. The TOES holding the TV remote. The setting-off of TWO smoke alarms while trying to "help" toast some buns in the oven. The three feet of suds in the big triangle tub due to excess shampoo usage. The broken shades across the living room double-windows.

Sunday, as I turned from typing on my HIPPIE while sitting on the coffee table in front of the new-shaded living room windows (due to the La-Z-Boy being disabled)... I knocked something off onto the floor.

Of course it was something of The Pony's, because I don't have anything on that table, other than the little ceramic plug-in scent thingy that Genius gave me for Christmas. With melting wax fragrances like coconut-pineapple, cinnamon, and some kind of berry. I haven't used it in a while, but The Pony likes to smell up the house. Anyhoo... he leaves stuff on the table, like a package of chocolate chip cookies, and a mostly empty bottle of Coke, and some foil wrappers from Dove chocolates.

I called The Pony from his bedroom.

"I just knocked something off! I hope your Coke bottle had the lid on it!"

The Pony came out and picked up the now-empty cookie package.

"It was just this. The bottle is still there."

"Do you think you could throw them away?"

"Yeah."

"Wait! What's that on the carpet? Is that powder from your white-cheddar cheese balls? It better not be sauce from your pasta!"

The Pony reached down to feel it.

"Huh. It's kind of stiff. I really don't know what that could be... it almost feels like wax."

"Did you spill that smelly wax stuff? I've seen you playing with it, poking your fingers in it as it re-hardens!"

"I didn't spill any wax."

"You are the only one who plugs that in every day! I sure didn't do it. You KNOW your dad didn't do it! So if that's wax, it got there because of you, when you sit on the floor with your legs under the table, eating and playing on your laptop."

"I don't know why you always blame me."

"Pony. You have to admit, everything that's broken around here was done by you..."

"Maybeeee..."

"We haven't even replaced the La-Z-Boy, and now we have to replace the carpet!"

"There must be some way to get wax out of a carpet."

"I'll find out for you."

Sweet Gummi Mary! I guess we'll try using paper towels over the wax, and a hot iron. Farmer H thinks ice might work. I think that's more for chewing gum.

4 comments:

River said...

The paper towels and a hot iron will work, it takes time and you do have to keep changing to fresh paper towels until no more wax melts into them. I have some of those scented wax melts too, I used them for a while and don't know why I stopped, but they're all packed away now. Probably stopped because my place is so small the scent gets a bit overpowering.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
That will be a job for Farmer H, with The Pony standing by to keep handing him fresh paper towels. Because no way am I going to trust The Pony with a hot iron on the carpet!

Some scents are more overpowering than others. The Pine gets pretty strong, but the Coconut one is mild.

Sioux Roslawski said...

I laughed and laughed and laughed. Literally. The Pony likes to smell up the house? If your PITA is anything like my PITA, Farmer H probably likes to smell up the house to... but in a different way.

Discussing if it's the powder from his white cheddar balls or from his pasta sauce... and then The Pony felt it, to see what it was.

Three feet of suds? And butter... and more butter... and more butter. Paula Deen said you can't have too much butter. Perhaps in the case of The Pony, there IS such a thing as too much butter.

Thanks for bringing me levity today.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I am so happy that The Pony has been entertaining you. Me, not so much. Farmer H does smell up the house. Always with the comment, "Huh, the frogs are bad tonight." I guess he means the noise? I'm not about to get into a discussion with him.

Sweet Gummi Mary! This morning we were watching "The Pioneer Woman," a rerun from 2012. I THOUGHT Ree looked too attractive for her normal self. Anyhoo... she was making sauce to pour over shrimp before sliding it into the oven. She put FOUR sticks of butter, and some garlic, and maybe cilantro in a food processor to stir it up. The Pony's eyes were HUGE! He said,

"I'm not gonna lie. I would just EAT that. Like dip."