Tuesday, December 14, 2021

The King Has Been Kinging Again

The Pony and I enjoyed a brief respite from the iron-fisted rule of King Farmer H on Monday night. The King was at the auction, counting out his money. The Pony was enjoying a boneless skinless chicken breast, on a toasted-bun sandwich, with a side of 2/3 of a package of Stove Top Stuffing. I used the brand name box, in honor of our Kingless repast.

"I'm not having any stuffing. You can have as much as you want. Dad is at the auction. If you have any left, we'll put it with your other piece of chicken for you to have tomorrow. Dad doesn't need any stuffing. I'll make some biscuits for both of you, and some salad."

"Oh, Mom. When you moved my Pop Tarts in the pantry? Do you remember how many were in the box?"

"I think two. It was kind of heavy. I put it in the corner, on top of your new box of brownies."

"Yeah. I found the Pop Tarts. But there was only one in the box. I mean one pack. You know, they come two to a pack."

"Uh huh. I'm pretty sure when I moved it, there were two packs."

"I guess Dad got one..."

That would be a logical conclusion. If only I'd known, I could've asked the King if he wanted me to pick up some Pop Tarts at the store. He was here when I left for town.

"Do you want anything from the store?"

"No. There ain't nothin' I want."

"Chips? Do you want some chips?"

"NO! There ain't no reason to have more than one bag of chips open around here."

Which pretty much tells me that my chips will continue to disappear.

3 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

The same thing happens at my house. I think it's their way of marking their territory. At least I tell myself it stems from ancient times, when we were still more "animal" than human, instead of the other possibility: they're just greedy and thoughtless.

River said...

His logic continues to defy all reason.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Heh, heh! The last part. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, "Heartbreakers," with Sigourney Weaver, Gene Hackman, Ray Liotta, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Sigourney tells her daughter Jennifer after a breakup: "There IS only ONE man." Just like my mom told me before I got married: "Honey, they're all alike."

***
River,
Yeah, it's like the way he describes things without making sense.