Sunday, October 9, 2022

Call The Waaaaambulance, I've Been Kissed By Dog Lips

When I came home from town Friday, I went to T-Hoe's rear to retrieve a 6-pack of Farmer H's Diet Mountain Dew. My little Jack trotted around there. He usually waits inside the garage, by the people door, for me to pet him and let him out. Juno does not come into the garage when I drive in. She still has PTSD from when she was young, and had her very special operation, and was closed up in the garage for a day until her anesthesia wore off.
 
Anyhoo...  I set my purse down on the bumper, and leaned over to pet Jack. He stands up on his hind legs, and rests his dusty paws on my dark blue pants. I leaned over farther, sweet-talking him, which enabled his long little body to stretch those paws onto my purple shirt, and get his head close to mine.

YIKES! Jack's long tongue lapped out and swiped my sweet-talking lips! His tongue went in my mouth! I immediately thought of Lucy being kissed by Snoopy, screaming that her lips had been touched by dog lips, and to get hot water and disinfectant and iodine!

Okay. That was the SECOND thing I thought of. The first thing I though of was that Jack's tongue tasted like DOG POOP! Not that I've ever tasted dog poop. But now I'll never have to, thanks to Jack. 
 
It was all I could do to refrain from chugging Farmer H's Wild Turkey to disinfect my oral cavity. Water just doesn't seem to have the same medicinal qualities.

4 comments:

River said...

Here I am wide awake unable to sleep and this is what I read first? Urk!! now I need to guzzle some water.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
It was worse than the time I was sweet-talking Juno on the side porch, and bit down on her wet rubbery nose! I let my readers live vicariously through me. I'm selfless like that!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I do have rules about Smoochie Time .... I do all the kissing, they keep their mouths shut and just enjoy the attention! They do not participate! Bad enough that Eddie wants to lik the tears from my cheeks, but my mouth is off limits!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
Jack is not a rule-follower! My mouth is usually not that close to his. I miss the days when he was a tiny long spotted puppy. I'd hold him on my chest, but he'd nose his way to my neck, and crawl around my shoulders under my lovely lady-mullet! He loved being in that tunnel of hair. I attribute that behavior to his dachshund half!