Again with Farmer H and his stories. This one is not so much a story as another instance of his confusing way of giving directions or explaining locations. He keeps trying to make it happen. Won't let go.
Farmer H was going to a new auction Saturday night. He didn't know if he would come home for supper first, or just go there from his SUS2 after 5:00.
"Where is this auction? I haven't heard you talk about it before."
"It's in Sis-Town. Across from the old drugstore."
"Um. That is the apartment building with the coffee shop on the ground floor."
"Not that building. The one next to it."
"The municipal parking lot is next to it."
"Past that! It's the old Shriner's building."
"I've never heard of a Shriner's building."
"Maybe the Masonic Hall."
"You mean the building where that alternative church meets?"
"It's the building next to your credit union. They have church in the basement, and use the top for events."
"Oh. You could have just said the building next to my credit union..."
"Well, it IS across the street from the old drugstore!"
"I guess my credit union is, too."
I hope Farmer H never has to call 911 to get emergency help for me, and give them directions to my location!
4 comments:
Aint it the truth! I remember listening to my grandmother give directions to places. Always had phrases like "Do you know where the old Bennett place is? No, not the new one the old one. Well, go past it and look for a dirt road that looks like it is never used. Don't turn there, go to the next one."
Kathy,
When I lived in the townhouses when I first came back here, where I met Farmer H, we had a neighbor who was an insurance adjuster. You can imagine how people give hillbilly directions around here. He said somebody told him to "Go to where you see the school bus on its side. Turn left there. You'll see the house. It has a telephone pole sticking out the door." The people in that house were somehow dragging or pushing that pole in to burn in their fireplace a little at a time. I guess the creosote didn't affect them!
Burning a telephone pole a bit at a time? Sounds like something you'd see on TV.
I'm not real good at giving directions, but I know the genearal area, for instance in the city recently a couple stood on a corner with a map, they were down by Victoria Square and wanted to go to the Railway Station. I said go straight down this street you are in all the way to where you can see Parliament House on the corner of North Terrace. Turn left, go to the next set of lights, then cross over. The railway station will be right in front of you.
River,
This area was in the next county. A region even MORE hillbilly than Hillmomba. Many people live in abandoned school buses, but not when they're turned on their side. I'm not so much perplexed about them burning a telephone pole, but about how they were able to MOVE it to burn more.
Your directions sound like even I could follow them! And we know that I am geographically and directionally challenged.
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