Farmerspreading

Perhaps you've heard of the recently-coined term "manspreading." I'm pretty sure it refers to the habit men have of taking up as much room as possible on public transportation, or in waiting areas, where they sit with their legs sprawled open, leaving less space for anyone who may wish to sit in a seat next to them. Of course, they could just be advertising the goods. Who really knows? Not this old woman, that's for sure.

Anyhoo...Farmer H has his own version of manspreading. He takes up as much room in FRIG II as possible. Mostly, he takes up room that I have just cleared for a specific purpose. If I make a space on the top shelf to put my Chicken Bacon Ranch Pinwheels when I get home from The Devil's Playground...I am sure to find it full of Diet Mountain Dew or Strawberry Water. Sometimes both.

A couple days ago, I ran out of olives. I buy them in a big jar, because I have them on the side when I eat my Chicken Bacon Ranch Pinwheels for lunch every day. Normally, I put a new jar in FRIG II when I run out of the old jar. So the olives are nice and cold the next day at lunch time. However...I meant to restock, but I forgot. That left a nice open space, the size of an olive jar, on the left-hand side of the third shelf.

Huh! When I looked for my olives the next day, there was a small yellow plastic MARGARINE TUB in its place! I don't know the exact brand name. It was from Save A Lot, so Coburn Farms would have been part of the name. Usually, they have something clever, like It's Almost Butter. But that wasn't this one.

Anyhoo...the last I remembered using margarine or butter was before Farmer H's RetirementPartyPalooza. And we used a big tub of Country Crock Shedd's Spread, the tan rectangular container. So I was a bit startled by this yellow margarine tub. I moved it up on the second shelf, on top of the bologna Farmer H asked for but doesn't eat. When he came in for supper, I asked why he'd taken up the space I left for my olives.

"I had to have somewhere to put the butter! I had enough trouble finding it!"

"Where was it?"

"Way in the back!"

"Is it expired? I don't even remember seeing that."

"I don't know. I needed it for my toast. That I had with the chili."

Well. Way in the back, he said. Then obviously there was the same room to return it to when he was done with it. We don't just go dropping stuff in the first open space we see, all willy-nilly, like a free-for-all.

Let the record show that the Country Crock Shedd's Spread was sitting in its tan rectangular tub, on the right-hand side of the third shelf, where it's always been. About 12 inches away from where Farmer H plopped the yellow tub.