Is ANYTHING Real Any More?

Mrs. Hillbilly Mom is a well-known skeptic. Maybe not so well-known...but definitely a skeptic. She's a show me kind of gal from the Show-Me State. In fact, Mrs. HM herself used to doubt the existence of paranormal manifestations claimed by ghost hunters or just plain crazy people, as Mrs. HM thought of them in the privacy of her own skull. Until she saw a headless man in her very own basement, and an unexplained entity in a high school gym where she worked.

It's also no secret that Mrs. HM is a fan of reality TV. On occasion, she has watched the show Hoarders. It's not a favorite. Not a must-see kind of show for her. But this morning, it was on as she was getting ready to leave for town, and simultaneously checking her checking balance and recent transactions on the automated phone line.

WAIT A MINUTE! Somewhere along the lines of cleaning out a house for an old lady who had a $10,000 investment in Christmas ornaments ruined by mouse pee, and an infestation of an estimated 1000 mice living inside her refrigerator...workers were carrying jugs of urine out of the house and standing them in rows on the lawn.

!!!

Seriously. It's not that I can't believe an old lady would pee in a gallon water jug because her plumbing no longer works. It's just that the show said there were 100 gallons of urine removed from the bathroom. It was in clear plastic jugs, like water jugs, kind of rectangular in shape, with a flat plastic strap for carrying. I don't doubt that a mentally ill old lady might forget to throw out her urine. Or that she might put it in those water jugs for lack of a better system. But here's the thing: EVERY JUG OF URINE WAS THE EXACT SAME SHADE OF YELLOW!

At first, I admit that I just thought, "Sweet Gummi Mary, old lady! Hydrate yourself! That's kind of a dark color, and you surely need more fluids." Then, as more and more jugs came out to be stacked beside the first 8 or 10...I noticed that they were all EXACTLY THE SAME SHADE OF YELLOW! No way! I call shenanigans! That pee had to have been harvested over at least 100 days. No way was she taking in the same amount of fluids and putting out the same amount of urine. Those yellows should have varied!

Here's my theory. I saw one of the "volunteer" or paid clean-up crew carry out two jugs, set them down, and go over and vomit between two parked cars. I'm guessing that there must be some kind of rule about your Average Joe carrying body fluids around in a gallon jug. Or that the workers decided they had to draw the line on toting pee. I think the show must have filled those gallon jugs with something else (with or without the knowledge of the workers), to simulate pee, in order to film the helpers carrying them out.

Maybe things like this are what prompt Farmer H to call me a conspiracy theorist.