Farmer H is planning a weenie roast and hayride on Saturday evening. The temperature is supposed to be 35 degrees at 7:00 p.m.
It's all kind of my fault, really. Not the weather! Sweet Gummi Mary! I'm not some secret operative with the government, fiddling about with HAARP and creating weather patterns to destroy the midwest. No siree, Bob! I'm talking about the weenie roast and hayride. At the end of RetirementPartyPalooza '17, The Veteran (Farmer H's second son) said, "We should all get together like this more often." I congenially said, "Fall is almost here. We could have a hayride." That was meant to be a rhetorical hayride. We haven't had one in years.
I don't have any objections to a hayride. Genius can't make it, because he is the photographer for his university, and must work at a football game. The Pony definitely won't drive 9 hours each way for a hayride. HOS and The Veteran's families can make it. Farmer H already spiffed up his tractor with working lights. He unloaded his trailer, because his wagon is in rickety shape. He already had bales of hay for Barry the mini pony and Billy the goat. Guess they might be going on a diet if we have a harsh winter.
Farmer H says the weenie roast and hayride are still on. Even though we know the forecast.
"Maybe you should move it to another weekend. It's going to be SO cold!"
"We'll have a fire. You don't know what the weather will be on other weekends."
"We DO know what the weather is going to be THIS weekend! And there won't be a fire during the hayride."
Farmer H is still set on having it. Even though The Veteran's wife told him today, "Looks like it's going to be really cold for the hayride."
Farmer H can continue to be Pollyanna. But I, for one, am not going to buy the giant weenies and chips and soda until Saturday afternoon.
6 comments:
You might want to buy a giant sleeping bag with sleeves too, to wear on this freezing hayride.
Oh, don't be a weenie. Be brave. Buy the stuff. Then hole up in the house and lock the door (perhaps you're not feeling "well"?) and enjoy the evening of peace and quiet.
My mother would advise you to wear a sweater!!
Sounds like Farmer H is going to be planning all sorts of entertaining for your retirement. Just go with it, it will be fun!
River,
I think I have one of those! Or as we call it, a Snuggie. "The Blanket with Sleeves!" The boys gave it to me for Christmas a couple years ago. I am ashamed to admit that it is still sitting in its box beside my Old People Chair. Who needs a Snuggie when you have an OPC with a heater?
Of course, it might be hard to load my OPC on the hayride trailer. And it will surely take a really, REALLY long extension cord.
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Sioux,
I will at least make an appearance at the weenie roast. I LOVE roasted weenies! Black on the outside, plenty of mustard...NOM NOM! I can truthfully say that I'm worried about my knees, getting on and off the hay bale trailer, and THEN retire (RETIRE!) to my Mansion, stuffed with weenies.
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fishducky,
My mother would advise me to wear a headscarf!
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Kathy,
He already invited me (less than an hour ago) to his latest project, which will not be mentioned here at this time. I politely declined, citing fear of a probable traffic accident. That's all I'm revealing!
I really don't think a snuggie is warm enough. You need something quilted and padded, with a hood, for a wintry hayride. One of those sleeping bags they use on expeditions to the North or South Pole.
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