Some Folks (But Never Mrs. HM) Are Delusional

Last week on CasinoPalooza 5, we had the breakfast buffet at Downstream Casino. I'm not doing a commercial for them, but it's pretty good, and pretty reasonable. The first morning, we got there during the 9:10 a.m. rush. We wanted a table, but had to take a hybrid booth. Farmer H, The Pony, and the Ex-Mayor sat in the booth part. Sis and I took the two chairs at the end of the table.

I actually wanted Sis's chair, but it was next to the Ex-Mayor, and she didn't want to switch. Sweet Gummi Mary! You'd think they had enough togetherness the other 23.5 hours a day. I told her I didn't want the chair designated for me, because I'd stick out in the aisle.

"Oh, you're not sticking out! Look at all that room!"

Let the record show that there WAS four or five feet of space for people to walk by, between the back of my chair when I was in it, and the table behind me. Thing was, we were at the first table off the 30-foot walkway to the buffet. So people rounding the dividing wall behind our hybrid booth would encounter me on the way back to their table.

Of course you know what happened. Some guy RAMMED into the back of my chair within five minutes of us sitting down with our plates. It didn't hurt me, because he hit the wooden chair. But it knocked me around enough that I could have claimed whiplash. Which I didn't. Nobody wants a private investigator from an insurance company following them around the rest of their life, with a camera to snap a picture of you bending down to pick up a penny... Besides, I'm pretty sure the guy still has a ginormous bruise on his right hip from the contact. He might even have dislocated his hip. I'm lucky he didn't drop his plate on my head.

Anyhoo...that's not the point of this story.

Our waitress was very attentive, and quite personable. She was probably in her mid-30s. Quick to take plates and offer refills. We all had water (except The (Sprite-full) Pony). Farmer H also had orange juice, and the Ex-Mayor also had coffee.

Waitress came by and stood between me and Sis. "Would you like a refill, Hon?" I knew my water was nearly full, and that Waitress was talking to Sis, who just had ice left in her glass. Before Sis could answer, Ex-Mayor said, "Yes. Thank you."

Everybody looked at him. Sis said, "I'm pretty sure she was asking ME. And yes, I would like a refill." Waitress poured it for her. Then said she would be back with Ex-Mayor's coffee. As you might imagine, Sis had something to say.

"It's not always about you! She was asking ME about a refill. You always think you're special."

"Well, she called me "HON. So I answered."

"She was calling ME Hon, not you!"

"Whatever you say."

Waitress came back with the coffee and poured it in Ex-Mayor's cup. "There ya go, Bud."

Heh, heh!

The next morning when we sat down (at a different table, half on a cushioned couch thingy, and Farmer H and I on chairs across from them, Sis asked about the link sausage.

"Did you have the sausage yesterday? I didn't get it today. It made me so thirsty all afternoon!"

"Yeah, I had the sausage. And I'm having TWO links today, because that's how I got ahold of them with the grabber. I don't think that's what made you so thirsty."

I didn't want to point out to Sis that maybe it was the combination of her sausage link, the sausage patty she put on a biscuit like a sandwich, and the other biscuit that she broke open and covered with white gravy chock full of sausage.