I'm sure you're thinking, "Poor Mrs. Hillbilly Mom. She missed her Sweet Baboo, and only wanted some alone time with him to reconnect. How sad that she was denied the small pleasure of intimate conversation [sorry if that phrase made you gag] with her man."
Not quite. The REAL reason is because Farmer H's lateness put the kibosh on my gloating. That's right. GLOATING.
Every evening, I hand Farmer H my day's lottery winners. He doesn't buy a ticket every day, but when he does, he loses. Way more than the odds should allow. Yet I seem to win more than the odds would allow. We're the Sprats. Anyhoo... if I don't hand Farmer H my winners, he sticks out his hand for them. Occasionally, I have to say, "I didn't win anything today! How fair is that?" But not often. The more you buy, the better the chance to win. That's where my weekly allowance goes. That, and 44 oz Diet Cokes. Gas for T-Hoe.
Anyhoo... one evening a couple weeks ago, Farmer H grew impatient. "Well, give me your tickets. I know you want me to see them."
"WHAT? What do you mean, I want you to see them? You always ASK me for them! You act like I'm a cat bringing you a dead bird. You know you want to see my tickets! Don't act like you're doing me a favor to look at them!"
Sometimes Farmer H's attitude grates on my last nerve.
Anyhoo... because he was late for supper, and filled his plate without me having a chance to sit and chat with him (unless I wanted to eat cold fish afterward), I was robbed of the opportunity to make him look at my three scratcher winners. Especially this one:
It was a $100 winner. In fact, I'd walked into the living room with my tickets in hand, once Farmer H sat down with his plate, with the intention of showing him. But he immediately started running his mouth about me being cranky for no reason (!), so I turned around without sharing. You can be sure I informed him:
"I don't want you to look at my winners tonight! So don't you do it! Don't be looking at my tickets! I won $125, but you're not going to see them!"
Then I put them in the side of my purse, knowing full well that he would be snooping around after I went downstairs, and he took his plate to the kitchen.
Gloating is a lot more fun when I'm sitting there on the short couch, handing him the tickets, and he shuffles through them and then exclaims, "A HUNDRED DOLLARS?"
I won $125 yesterday, but I was robbed.
4 comments:
He snoops through your purse? And you allow this? When I lived with family no one touched my purse except me. I remember once, my MIL asking me where she could safely put her purse where my kids wouldn't touch it. I said put it anywhere, my kids won't touch it and she seemed very surprised. Is it normal that women's purses are fair game?
River,
I stick the tickets in the side pouch, where I keep my keys and my grocery list. They stick out. He doesn't have to go through the purse. He pretty much ignores it unless he forgets he needs a check. Then he takes out the checkbook and rips one out. He NEVER puts that checkbook back in the purse the right way. It's very obvious when he's taken a check, like last week to pay for The Pony's car license renewal. Other than getting out the checkbook, I've never noticed Farmer H snooping around. He gets his cash allowance, and I get mine. That probably helps.
So... I wouldn't say he goes through my purse. But he might pick up the tickets to look. I don't really care, I was just trying to shame him! My kids didn't bother it unless I told them to get something out of it for me, and then Genius would bring the whole purse to me. The older boys never did bother it when they were around.
The "snooping around" part was mainly about Farmer H being curious about the tickets, after I'd planted that seed and denied him access.
Aaah, so you're lucky in love AND you're lucky when it comes to the lottery. You are indeed fortunate.
By the way, have you seen the Bitmoji app? You make an avatar that looks like yourself, and then your avatar pops into an endless string of pictures. One of them was the avatar riding on the back of a giant ladybug.
I thought of you...
Sioux,
Heh, heh! You could say that... though I'd hate to be UNLUCKY in love, if this is what lucky looks like. I have NOT seen the Bitmoji app. I will be seeing The Pony soon, and I'll make him show me!
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