Like 10 Hot Dogs And 8 Buns

It used to be a problem, buying a pack of hot dogs containing 10, when buns came in a bag of 8. These days, there are so many varieties that I have no problem finding a pack of 8 hot dogs to make the buns come out even. I think the hot dogs are fatter, too! But we're not here to talk about those delicious, delicious hot dogs (according to Farmer H). We're here to talk about things not pairing up, one for one.

I might have mentioned that Farmer H and I have switched our health insurance policy. I get it through the school, totally paid for by us, at an outrageous price, which would be even higher if I wasn't being included in that group of school employees.

Anyhoo... the fiscal year runs from July to July. We'd changed our coverage LAST YEAR, stepping down to the next policy, with a higher deductible, thinking it would save us money. It did not. While the premiums were lower, we were getting nickel-and-dimed with higher office visits and prescription costs, and things previously covered for Farmer H not being covered until after the deductible was met. So we decided to switch back this July, to the top policy of the four offered.

Usually, there's a meeting at school for the retirees. The insurance rep comes in and goes over any changes. Then we sign a form to continue or change policies. This year, there was no meeting. I even called school to see if I'd missed the letter. Nope. No meeting. But since I wanted to change, I could go to the main office and fill out the form. So I did. Back in May. Paid my premium in June, which was for July. [Oh, there's another story about THAT, which might come up soon.]

Let the record show that ever since working at Newmentia, the insurance cards came in the mail. That's because when the new policy started, it was July 1. We weren't in school, so they mailed the insurance cards. They were always late. Most often they'd arrive about a week after coverage started. So we'd be all antsy about appointments or accidents or sudden illnesses befalling us. I was getting antsy this year, telling Farmer H that every day I looked for my new insurance cards, but didn't get anything from the insurance company.

Do you know what he said? "Call school." Well. What good would THAT do?

"We always get them from the insurance company. I don't know why you think I should call school. They've got all new people, since the retirements coming up. They'll be too busy to deal with me, when there's nothing they can do anyway. The cards come from the insurance company. Not the school."

Imagine my SHOCK, and also my HORROR (that Farmer H was right) when I got an envelope with the school's return address, and inside were my new insurance cards! Oh, how I hated to tell Farmer H that he was right. But I did.

"It kills me to tell you this... but you were right about the insurance cards coming from school."

"I TOLD YOU SO! We always got them in the office at work."

"Well. That was YOUR insurance. You changed it about every 6 months, to a different company. But ours has never, ever, in all the years I've worked there, come to the school. Always mailed to our home, by the INSURANCE COMPANY. Not the school."

"Whatever. I was right."

As if THAT wasn't a hard enough pill to swallow, I now have to deal with the insurance cards. Just like the hot dog and bun manufacturers of old, the insurance company goes out of its way to make life difficult.

We have a family plan. This company insures ME, Farmer H, and The Pony. Same as the past two years. Yet they only send out TWO insurance cards. I gave one to Farmer H, because he goes to the doctor every Friday, and doesn't have his medications synchronized for one trip to the pharmacy. I mailed the other insurance card to The Pony, who is off by himself all the way in Oklahoma. I figure I can borrow Farmer H's card when I go to the pharmacy. I have copied one front and back, and stuck it between self-laminating papers to make a counterfeit version to carry in my purse, lest I am rendered unconscious in an accident. It has a bar code and all the numbers on it, which can be verified. It's just not an official insurance card.

Meantime, I've got to figure out how to get another card for myself. I guess I'll go through the rigamarole of signing in online and ordering myself a card.

OR...

Should I call school and ask for another card?

Heh, heh. Maybe I should ask Farmer H for advice...