Me And My Big Toe, Sitting Here In Solitude

Shades of night have fallen and I'm chillin'
Sitting in my OPC, aren't you?
TV-watching's fun
Now my shows are done
I'll head upstairs just like a gal should do
It's just

Me and my big toe
Sitting here in solitude
Me and my big toe
One of us is oozing out some goo
But when it's three o'clock, we climb the stair
We never knock, not near the lair!

Just me and my big toe
Neither of us something you should view

Mrs. HM is not a singer. But she does have a big toe, and that big toe has an issue.

I first noticed it on Sunday morning. While I was sitting on the toilet before my shower, but that's not pertinent. I'd show you a picture, but... well... FEET!

It's my left foot big toe. The crack (heh, heh, I've already typed TOILET, and CRACK) along the nail on the right side. It looked a little pink. Puffier than normal. It also was tender to the touch. WELL! I certainly didn't want to get paronychia (DON'T GOOGLE!) like my mom had in her pinky finger, and the first doctor wanted to cut it off.

My sister the ex-mayor's wife got it in a finger. She went to a different doctor, sooner, and he drained it, and Sis said it STANK worse than the Grinch's attitude. Okay, I put those words in her mouth. But since it seems like this paronychia might run in the family (don't even know if that's possible, maybe we're just dirty bacteria-ridden sloths), I wanted to keep an eye on that toe. Not literally. I'm not a contortionist.

Anyhoo... I washed and dried that toe real good. The rest of me too, of course, but with special attention to that toe. Then I put a little Germ-X on it, just in case. I swung my leg back and forth at the kitchen counter, to dry it by evaporation. That's where my Germ-X was, in my purse. Unfortunately, I swung too far, and cracked my bad toe on the kickboard under the cabinets. It didn't hurt TOO bad.

Then I got a bandaid, not name brand, but the kind that Country Mart has, which probably cost more, but are less of a walk to reach than those at The Devil's Playground, way over in the pharmacy. I opened the bandaid and put some triple antibiotic ointment on the bandage part. Then I carried it by the sticky part to the piano bench, which is where I put on my socks every day. I hiked my foot up there, and covered the crack of my big toe with that medicated bandaid. Left it on all day and night.

The next morning, I was sitting in the La-Z-Boy talking to Farmer H, who had wandered in briefly to see if I was alive. I was. He didn't know about my big toe. I took the bandaid off, getting ready for the shower anyway, and saw that some reddish gunk had oozed out of it onto the bandage! I showed Farmer H, but he didn't seem to be very interested in my big toe. Although he DID ask if I wanted to go to the casino on Tuesday. Which was going to be hard on my toe.

I wiped off my toe gunk and then washed it with liquid soap straight from the spout. Then rinsed it good in the shower, patted it dry, and repeated the Germ-X and triple antibiotic bandaid treatment. I've done this all week. After the oozing, the toe didn't look puffy anymore, and wasn't tender.

I think it's getting better. I don't know what causes that. Don't want to read about paronychia long enough to find out. (Again, DON'T GOOGLE! I will not be held responsible if a picture pops up!) I had trimmed my toenails a couple days before it appeared, but the edge wasn't sharp, and the top part of my toe crack wasn't where the redness was.

Me and my big toe. Sitting here in solitude. Hopefully on the mend.