Saturday night, he was leaving for the auction. I was in the kitchen, getting my own supper ready after feeding him. I'd chopped an onion, and wanted him to toss the peel and ends off the back porch. No use stinking up the house with a cut onion in the trash. I let Farmer H know that I wanted him to do this by saying, "Toss that onion off the porch as you go out." Pretty simple, right? I was speaking English, Farmer H's native tongue.
Imagine my
Now imagine my surprise as Farmer H stepped across the portal, and SLAMMED THE KITCHEN DOOR RIGHT IN MY FACE!
I barely recovered, halting at the last moment, and grabbing the doorknob to let myself out. WHAM! That's my face hitting the safely glass in the door. Farmer H had LOCKED the doorknob. Which was hard to turn with my squozen forearm. He was already getting in his truck by the time I got out. To speed away from the scene of the crime, no doubt!
Yeah. I'm pretty sure he's still trying to kill me.
He's got more than one plan, you know. Monday afternoon, he sat down on the long couch as I was getting ready to shower and leave for town. We were watching a movie, and the subject came up about how people are kept alive at enormous expense, even when the prognosis is dismal.
"I can't say for sure, because it ain't one of my kids... but to me it seems crazy to keep these babies on life support for a year or two when they're just going to die anyway, because they got something wrong with them."
"Well, you have to be careful there, because that's the same thing their parents might say about us old people. 'I don't see the point in keeping them alive. They don't work any more, and they don't have many years left. They're not helping society, they're just using up resources.' Young people know it all, and they don't need us."
"There's some truth to that. When you get so old you can't do anything. Like my old buddy when he couldn't get out and go to the store any more. Or your grandma when she went in the nursing home. They were ready to die."
"Great. I know your plans for ME! 'Well, she had that bad toe. I'm pretty sure it was going to get infected anyway, and then go to her brain, which was already crazy enough. So I didn't see no point in keepin' her alive.' Yeah. That's what will happen to me. You'll pull the plug before there's even a plug!"
Yeah. I'm pretty sure Farmer H is still trying to kill me.
3 comments:
He slammed and locked the door?? I'm beginning to think he really hates being asked to do any little thing that might help you, when he is already on his way somewhere else. In his mind, he would be thinking, "I have to go out there with that plate, toss the onion, then COME BACK IN AGAIN, to put the plate back BEFORE I GET TO GO WHERE I'M GOING!" (That's his mind yelling at him)
I put my onion bits and anything else that might go stinky, into an old icecream bucket in my freezer, so then it won't stink up the place and I just toss the whole thing on rubbish day.
So, he wants to get rid of you. Is there another woman who's trying to woo Farmer H away from you?
If so, who is she?
River,
I imagine his mind was yelling those words IF he actually listened to me enough to hear that request (command). He tends to tune me out, so he might not have heard. The doorknob has a button in it that turns to lock. He's used to do that in one motion as he opens it up to go out. So I don't think he was attempting to kill me in a rage, but rather in a non-premeditated happy accident THIS TIME!
We have more room in the back yard than in FRIG II's freezer. And animals that eat the garbage, though not the onions.
***
Sioux,
I don't think so, but if she is, she's CRAZY!
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