I kept hinting to Farmer H that I wanted that plastic toilet seat gone. With a replacement, of course. Yet he showed no initiative to seek out the type of toilet seat my ample rumpus prefers! So I took matters into my own...hands...and hobbled to the back corner of The Devil's Playground when I did the weekly shopping.
Sweet Gummi Mary! They were practically throwing toilet seats at customers! It reminded me of the old SNL days when Susan Lucci hosted, fresh off another Emmy loss, which I think was number 20-something. And the whole cast was nonchalantly flaunting their supposed Emmys, like Kevin Nealon wearing one around his neck like a medallion, and David Spade using two of them as holder-grips for corn-on-the-cob. Here's a clip. The Emmy shenanigans starts around 2:26 of the 5:55 video.
Anyhoo...as I entered The Devil's Playground, I had to ask the greeter/receipt-checker which section of the store held the TOILET SEATS. No. I didn't shout. But I might as well have. Because the old guy, who looks like William Lee Golden of The Oak Ridge Boys, but with less hair, seemed quite embarrassed by my question. He called a woman over, and asked her, whisperingly, "Where do we keep the toilet stool lids?" She said, "Hardware," and he pointed me that direction.
Anyhoo...as soon as I hiked across the back of the store after getting the groceries, I was greeted with a giant end-cap display of toilet seats, for FIVE DOLLARS EACH! There was a large assortment, but I did not see the elongated version that fits our toilet. So I walked a couple aisles over, and found out where The Devil was keeping those so-hard-to-find (according to Farmer H) toilet seats.
Allow me to share the panorama that greeted me.
There it is, low in the middle for me! You might notice the price, which is $13.88! That ain't no LOWE'S toilet seat!
Is it just me, or do those toilet seats seem to be laughing?
6 comments:
$5!! what a bargain! I don't think I've ever seen a round toilet seat, all of ours are oval. I'm glad you found the one you prefer, but isn't it still plastic? I thought the plastic is what you were objecting to as well as the wrong shape.
Yes, I did notice your choice wasn't $5, but still a bargain compared to what Farmer H paid. Had a giggle at the whispered "toilet stool lids", I've never heard them called that.
I'm glad your rump is going to have the last laugh. Hopefully it won't take 13 months and 8 days for Farmer H to install it...
(And I'm sorry Genius is so far away now. Ian might get his first choice in a year and a half and get stationed in Japan. If that happens, I will be flying to Japan for a visit. Pittsburgh? It's not quite as exotic. ;)
What a sweaving trip that roadtrip would be...
River,
I, too, though $5 was crazy cheap for a toilet seat! They were all round, though. Maybe only the older toilets use the round seats these days. My new one is the pressed wood with a shiny coating, not plastic. It's heavier than the plastic.
When the greeter whispered it, he pronounced it "tollet stool," which is how old folks like my grandparents used to refer to a toilet.
***
Sioux,
It only took a few days for the installation. Of course that was with constant reminders.
Wow! Japan! I could never visit there. I'm not sure I want to go to Pittsburgh! Genius told his dad that he'd been thinking about moving to TAIWAN, after all his Garmin work there. He said he was picking up the language. So I guess Pittsburgh could be worse...
Pittsburgh made it into our newspapers today, with a giant sinkhole opening up in Penn Ave and swallowing half a bus.
River,
I KNOW! I'd sent Genius a text for his first day of work, and about 20 minutes after he replied, I went down to my lair and SAW THE PITTSBURGH SINKHOLE! I didn't want to text him back. He can't be on the phone while working. It happened at 10:00 a.m. their time, so he would have already been at work. Hope it's not on his route!
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