Tuesday, October 22, 2019

The Universe Continues To Conspire Against Me, Though Not As Understatedly As Farmer H Pretty-Suredly Trying To Kill Me

Sweet Gummi Mary! I don't ask for much. I've resolved myself to dipping 13 fistfuls of ice out of FRIG II's bin, just to fill one bubba cup. All while listening to Farmer H's silence, or having him chuckle and smirk that the problem can only be in the chopper part of the dispenser. While having made absolutely no effort to fix it, or call a repairman. Calling one myself would cause way more trouble than dipping 13 fistfuls of ice at suppertime.

At lunch time, I fill TWO bubba cups with ice. This requires a more efficient operation. I set my two bubba cups on the cutting block, and pull out the whole ice bin. From there, I dip double fistfuls of ice, right out of the top of the bin, unhindered by the little trap door. Here's the thing:

No matter how careful I am when transferring my ice, some ends up on floor. Mrs. HM is loathe to bend over multiple times per day, as if touching her toes. So you can imagine how I concentrate on moving the ice without dropping any. No method seems to work.

While taking out the crescent-shaped cubes, some fall out the back hole of the bin. Of course the don't lay on the cutting block, but slide off the edge. Others fall out the hole in the bottom of the front side, where a proper dispensing would occur, and off that side of the cutting block. Sometimes out of front and back at the same time!

Some cubes stick to my fingers momentarily while I'm dropping them into the bubbas, then fall and bounce off the cutting block to the floor. Even if I make a successful transfer to both cups, a cube or two fall out of the bin as I'm sliding it back into FRIG II's freezer.

Of course the 13 fistfuls are not without droppage. Cubes slip from my fist, or cling to my fingers and then drop, or bounce off the rim of the bubba and onto the floor. They generally shatter into three or four chunks when they land, and skitter across the room, under the cutting block, under FRIG II, under the stove, under the cabinet edge, or behind the scale next to FRIG II.

Here's the newest method of ice torture.

Yesterday, I was SO careful. I made sure my hands were dry. Calculated how many cubes I could scoop up safely. Dropped them slowly, making sure they were directly over the bubba's opening. I'd scooted all cubes toward the middle of the bin, away from the front and back openings. So intense was my concentration that I held my breath, tongue poking out the corner of my lips. I lifted the bin back into the freezer without any jarring motions. Closed FRIG II's door. SUCCESS!

I snapped down the lid on the purple bubba cup, the one that stores my extra ice for cooling my 44 oz Diet Coke throughout the afternoon. I took the second lid, with the blue plastic straw skewered through the hole. As I do every day, I poked the straw down into the side of the cup before snapping down the lid. Somehow, that blue plastic straw hit the corner of just the right (WRONG) ice cube, levering it up, and ejecting an entire cube out the top and onto the cutting block, from whence it bounced over the side, and shattered on the floor.

It was quite demoralizing.

2 comments:

River said...

When you lift out the whole tub of ice to fill the bubba cups, why aren't you using a scoop to put the ice into the cups? instead of your hands. Seems to me there'd be less dropping of cubes with a scoop, such as you'd find in a flour bin or a large bucket of dog kibble in pet stores, or like the one I bought to dole out cat kibble for Lola. Big metal one from a cheap-as-chips store, same as the ones I've seen on self-serve bins of cereals and flours at the Whole Foods Store. And if you stand the bubba cups inside the sink, there'd be even less chance of cubes making it to the floor.
Of course that's just what I'd do and if you prefer your method that's okay with me, because then I get to read about it.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I don't have a scoop! I'll have to put one on Farmer H's Goodwill shopping list. The sink idea is out. I'd have to carry the bin three times as far, and move the straggling dishes waiting to be washed out of the way on the counter to set it down.