Sunday, February 23, 2020

One Tire Over The Line, Sweet Gummi Mary

Mrs. HM always parks where she has space available to open T-Hoe's door the full monty. It has two notches, you know. All the way, and not far enough. If the door isn't open all the way, it's a struggle to bend my right knee and slide it under the steering wheel. I can barely bend it 90 degrees.

For that very reason, I will park away from other cars, or on the end of a parking row. Just so nobody can crowd me while I'm inside doing my business. The exception is The Gas Station Chicken Store. It has a space on the right end of a row, where they've widened the space to allow the owners to sometimes drive their large SUV up beside the building. I never trap them in there, heh, heh. But if the space is available, people park in it.

Last week, I chose that parking space. I always cheat way over to the right. They have a concrete parking bumper there, sideways, to keep you from going too close to the building corner. I get T-Hoe's right side tires within a couple inches of that bumper. Which leaves me enough space to open T-Hoe's driver's door ALL THE WAY without invading the neighboring parking space proper.

SWEET GUMMI MARY!

I came out, 44 oz Diet Coke and scratchers in hand, to find a line-parker!

Oh, NOT-HEAVEN no! There was NOTHING on the other side of that car. Nobody was parked there when I went in or came out. They didn't adjust due to somebody else's bad parking job. IF they were doing it to give themselves a wide-openable driver's door, then they would have understood my plight, and guessed the reason I was far off our dividing line. You'd think they would have at least stayed inside their own space. That's all I needed. An inch or two more.

It doesn't look as bad from this vantage, high up in the driver's seat. But I could NOT get T-Hoe's door open to the second click without the edge resting on that bright red paint job. It won't balance in between clicks. So I had to cram my legs in with the door open only to the not-far-enough notch.

Looks like T-Hoe is a magnet for weirdos' cars

People piss me off. I'll have to go back to parking way over by the moat, in unmarked spaces.

5 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

People who drive red vehicles are always on the whackadoo side. Oh, I forgot. Farmer H's truck is red...

Sioux Roslawski said...

Oh. Brewer and Shipley. The two extra syllables at the end threw me for a loop for a moment.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Don't even get me started on Farmer H's parking methods!

***
Sioux 2,
I was not trying to confuse you. "One Tire Over the Line, Sweet Gummi" is historically incorrect. My student saw MARY in the melted gummi bears, not just any old gummi.

River said...

Every time I read something like this, I'm glad I don't drive. I'm also glad that my knees still do what they were made to do.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yes, you are double-lucky to not deal with weirdo drivers, and also have bendable knees!