Oh, for the salad days, when the convalescing patient was so undemanding!
Wednesday, Farmer H had an appointment with the urologist. Turns out this wasn't the surgeon, but the guy who put that vibrating thingy in his bladder that's supposed to make it less urgent. Anyhoo... the surgeon's plan had been for this urologist to take out the catheter during this appointment. Farmer H told the nurse, and she said, "I don't know anything about that. I don't think so. I'm going to ask the doctor." Heh, heh. She came back and did it. And the urologist said that of course she should have known that she was supposed to do that. I'm disappointed that Farmer H didn't ask her if the tubing was hooked up correctly in that plastic clippy thing!
Anyhoo... Farmer H was thrilled to have the catheter out. But when he peed after coming home, he was in a panic because he said his pee was all blood. That was listed as a temporary possibility on his discharge paperwork. And also a medicine he was taking said it would turn the urine orange or red. But now he seemed to think he was dying!
"I was going to run down to my store, but I think I'll just stay home. If it looks like this tomorrow, I'm going up to the emergency room."
I wasn't so worried, because of the medicine side effects. Meanwhile, Farmer H seemed to have had a relapse, and thought he was knock-knock-knockin' on (hopefully) Heaven's door.
"I think I have a fever. I'm cold. I'm covered up with this blanket, but I'm freezing. Feel my head. Is it hot?"
"Well, I just washed my hands. So they're cold. But no, you don't FEEL hot. There's a thermometer right there in that box. Why don't you take your temperature? Or maybe you should have asked them to do that an hour ago at the doctor's office. Anyway, you're taking an antibiotic. So that should take care of any infection you might be getting."
"They wouldn't do that there!"
"Why not? It's a DOCTOR'S office! I'm sure they had a thermometer lying around."
Farmer H took his temperature. But he couldn't read the thermometer. No matter how much I explained, and showed him how to slightly turn it. He was holding it VERTICALLY! So I had to go back to the kitchen and put on my glasses and come back and read it for him. The poor pitiful patient. It was right at the arrow that denotes 98.6 degrees. STILL he couldn't see it, even when I held it and slightly turned it.
Farmer H said he was in no pain, now that the catheter was out. Yet when I asked if he was coming to the kitchen for his supper, or did he want me to bring it, he said: "If you could make it and bring it in here, that would be great."
I also mentioned that I guessed I would carry in more of his soda the next day, after I carried in my groceries. No comment from Farmer H, who had returned from his de-catheterization crowing that he could now lift 20 pounds.
I think I liked him better when he was really a patient. Later that night, his pee cleared up. He had a shower. He seemed fine the next morning. I'm still waiting to see what he expects me to do for him now.
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