Farmer H, the #1 son, and I sat in the living room before bowling league, watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. Guy was chowing down on a big hamburger. Farmer H piped up, "You know who has good hamburgers? That bar next to Casey's where I get gas."
"How do you know what kind of hamburgers they serve? How many times have you been there?"
"I only went once."
"Mom, he tried to make ME go there with him!"
"Funny. You never told me you were going. When was this?"
"I only went when I had a day off from work. They're having a good breakfast buffet bar there tomorrow."
"How would you know that?"
"I was there last week."
"Wait a minute. When were you off work last week?"
"I wasn't off work last week."
"But you said you only went there when you were off work."
"Yeah. That week I was off at Thanksgiving. I went there for lunch."
"Then how were you there last week?"
"I went to breakfast Sunday."
"But you said you only went once."
"I did."
"Now you say you were there for breakfast on Sunday."
"I was."
"That's more than once."
"You're not listening. You never listen."
"Oh, but I DO listen. That's why you're not making sense."
"I don't know what you don't understand."
"You said you only went once."
"I did."
"But you were there twice."
"Yeah. Once for lunch. And once for breakfast."
"So you only went once, but you've been there twice."
"Yeah."
"You guys are hilarious!"
"Do you understand what he's saying?"
"Well, he's not making sense. But you're not listening."
"How can you only go once, but be there twice?"
I'm still waiting for an answer on that one.
4 comments:
LOL. I got lost following that conversation just reading it. I admire your listening for the underlying bs skills. Must be from teaching all those do-nots.
Chick,
I have become well-versed in Farmer H speak. You have to read between the lines, because he won't come right out and say it like a reasonable person.
Like when he says he hasn't eaten all day, he means he had a banana and an Eggo waffle for breakfast, and a baloney sandwich for lunch.
Just like when you tell a student to stop doing something, and he says, "You can't prove I did it." Which is as good as an admission, because the truly innocent would say, "I didn't do it."
LOL That is just too funny! Did you go for the breakfast bar?
labbie,
Surely, you jest. I was not invited to the breakfast bar. I, along with my faithful Pony, must mount an assault on The Devil's Playground each Sunday morning. Farmer H was merely letting me know, without telling me, that he was going to the breakfast bar.
Maybe I can find you one of those Rosetta Stone CDs for Farmer H Speak.
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