Monday, January 16, 2012

Give Missouri A Break

Must all the crazy people on TV be from Missouri? Seriously? Can't Mississippi pitch in every now and then, to take some heat off of the ol' Show-Me State?

Just on Survivor alone, for three seasons now, we have had to claim "Coach" Benjamin Wade. And in Survivor Amazon, we had that goofy Heidi girl who stripped for some peanut butter. She was a teacher, y'all! Then we had Randy, that Hawaiian-shirt-wearing weirdo on Survivor Gabon. And Twila the janitor/MoDOT worker who was merely disliked, though not necessarily certifiably nuts.

But now, it's gotten ridiculous. On a show last week about cheapskates, there was a Missouri woman who does not allow toilet paper in her home. It's too expensive. So to save a couple of hundred dollars a year, she cuts up old towels into squares, and uses them for butt-wipers. Are you following me here? She cuts up old towels into squares, and makes her family of six kids and a husband use them for butt-wipers! Then they drop them into a plastic wastebasket (no lid), and she washes and dries them. Because supposedly, electricity and bleach and detergent and hot water are free in Missouri.

I am ready to throw in the towel.


Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

Don't throw in the mysteriously-stained towel just yet, Hillbilly Momma. Our state just voted down a "personhood" amendment to the state constitution, which felt like a huge victory in that it was proof that we're not a bunch of uber-conservative sheep--- only to find out 2 months later that our legislature is attempting to write the same thing into law regardless of the vote. That's purty bad. And our now-former gub'ner just pardoned like nine thousand murderers on his way out of office.

If that's not enough for you, we ARE still insanely fat.

Chickadee said...

WOW. I don't even know what to say to the butt wipers.

People like that make me hang my head in shame

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh, yeah. You had me at FAT. Sorry that you lost your MOST TEEN PREGNANCIES OF ANY STATE crown a short while back.

Indeed. At the school lunch table, we decided that she is definitely NOT a teacher. After she said they paid off their credit card debt of $80,000 in ONE YEAR. Somebody said she must have a nice house. To which I replied, "Uh huh. But if plan to visit, use the bathroom before you go."

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

California's holding its own too. Did you hear about the lady who offered sexual favors for chicken mcnuggets? Or the UHaul with 100+ dogs in it? (They caught them outside of Memphis, but they were from CA.),0,3578386.story

Hillbilly Mom said...

I heard about the chicken nugget entrepreneur, but not the traveling dog hoarder.

I'll raise you one Pennsylvania mouse in the Big Mac buns. The owner said to brush off the droppings and serve them anyway.