Friday, September 28, 2012

An Insider Tip For The Teachers Among Us

I fear that there is a conspiracy afoot at the hands of The People Who Make Dry Erase Marker Whiteboard Cleaner.

The People Who Make Dry Erase Marker Whiteboard Cleaner are taking us for a ride. Driving us down a narrow bumpy winding road, no more than a pig trail, really, at slapdash speed, errant sapling limbs whacking the elbows we have poked out open windows in an effort to appear nonchalant. Like we don't really know what TPWMDEMWC are doing to us. Which rhymes with mewing.

TPWMDEMWC are selling a product that does not clean the whiteboard. A product that does not even leave the whiteboard in a neutral state. A product that makes the whiteboard dirtier! There! I said it! We all know it's a racket. But each time we purchase their product, we hold out a little glimmer of hope. A wishful think that this time will be different. That the spray inside that plastic bottle will leave the whiteboard as slick and smooth and shiny as the day it was hung. And we are sorely disappointed.

Don't fear, my fellow whiteboardians! Mrs. Hillbilly Mom has the solution. Stop throwing your good money down the rathole owned and operated as a not-very-amusing park by TPWMDEMWC. We're not gonna take it anymore. Not even those of you who are fortunate enough to waste your school district's money instead of your own. Allow me to quote a menacing dark avian with a penchant for rapping on chamber doors: NEVERMORE!

Use window cleaner. 

Yes. The blue stuff. Generic, even. Window cleaner will do you right. I used to swear by Save A Lot baby wipes. But window cleaner is even better. I learned that when I finally erased my whiteboard last week and left it bare overnight. My custodian, Cus, whipped that whiteboard into shiny shipshape. When I inquired as to the method of those mad cleaning skillz, Cus revealed the secret that has eluded us for so long. Window cleaner. And being a giving sort, Cus hooked me up with my very own spray bottle full, and a giant roll of white paper towels.

I am now the Queen of Cleanness, as well as the Queen of Meanness. And still the Emperor of Hillmomba.

3 comments:

Sioux said...

OMG! The bottles of that precious elixir for dry erase boards--that dry erase cleaner--are like gold in our building. We run out of it as soon as a truckload comes in. Teachers scratch each other's eyes out over the stuff.

Now I know what I can sell on the street corner: window cleaner.

Melissa said...

It's true. It is a conspiracy! I had a new bottle of name brand cleaner and decided at the first of the year to give the board one more once over before the first day. It looked nice and shiny, but when I went to erase (even with a new eraser [I know, I went all out this year!]), I was left with black marks all over my board. I've decided to forget the cleaner and give it a quick clean with a few Kleenexes every once and awhile and give my cleaner to some unsuspecting teacher. (That wouldn't be mean, would it?)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
You can make enough under-the-table money to buy a lifetime supply of Crocs. Seriously, this blue window cleaner works even better than my previous BFF, baby wipes.

************
Melissa,
Same here! I used a new eraser, and new markers. Blamed it on the Quartets. Cast them aside, but even the Expos and a new eraser left horrid smudges. Then Cus hooked me up, and it's been clean sailing ever since.