Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Shirt Pocket Apothecary

I am a firm believer in the shirt pocket apothecary.

Just this morning, my own personal drug store was called into action. The Pony had a severe headache. One worthy of regurgitation. He ate some applesauce. He took an acetaminophen. Thirty minutes later, poor Pony was still hurtin' for certain. We were on the way to school by then. So I reached into my shirt pocket stash and pulled out an ibuprofen. The Pony ate a Hawaiian Roll in tiny sections, and choked down the pill. By the time we got to school, his pain was beginning to recede enough for him to enter the building. Thank the Gummi Mary! Because Grandma was on a trip to Ste. Genevieve with Sis, Farmer H was at work, Genius had robot practice after school, and Mrs. HM herself was, ahem, working! There was nowhere else for The Pony to go. Had I not needed to prepare two classes for tests tomorrow, I could have taken a sick day to sit with him.

I always carry some medication in my pocket, just in case. An ibuprofen because that's all that works for my aches and pains, and the headaches of the #1 son. Acetaminophen, because that's what I give The Pony. An aspirin, because those people on TV say to have one handy in case you're about to croak from a heart attack in the grocery store, and a Pepcid for after lunch.

Lucky for #1 that I had tossed in an extra ibuprofen this morning. Because he darkened my classroom door just before sixth hour, seeking relief for his headache. Sure, I could send him to the office for a FREE ibuprofen. But that's not how I roll. I'm surprised they can keep any in stock, what with it being FREE and all. We all know how fast FREE bottles of water disappear on days the town pump is awaiting repair. However, I like being the one to dish out drugs to my own children.

It's not like I can keep a bottle of each kind of pain reliever in my room. Heavens to Betsy! This is a school we're talkin' about! You can't leave stuff like that laying around behind closed doors in a locked classroom where students have no business. NO! Just no!

I don't like to carry my purse into the building. I have personal items in there, you know. Along with my financial information, and credit cards, and checks, behooves one to be overly cautious with one's belongings in an institutional setting.

So you see, the shirt pocket apothecary is actually a scathingly brilliant idea. Now if I could only find a shirt pocket big enough for one of those defibrillator thingies...


knancy said...

Institutional is the correct word. I was getting ready for work one morning while watching the news and saw what I thought looked like a lock down at a prison. I stopped brushing my teeth for a minute and listened and watched to see where and what was going on and it was a school! I had more keys on my key ring when I taught than in any other job. I felt like a warden at times, so sad. So few can make it so bad for so many good.

Sioux said...

My purse--locked up in my cabinet at all times--is my little medicine cabinet. Everything one could need is in there...

But of course, you don't need a debrillator in your pocket. You are surrounded by students. Any one of them would be more than glad to pound on your chest. Repeatedly.

Go ahead...ask them if you doubt me.

Hillbilly Mom said...

We have not had many cases of larceny in recent years. The lockers have been the target for the criminals who think they are invisible on surveillance cameras. The stealing zone used to be the gym locker rooms, but the kids with valuables smartened up and used their locks.

However, I vow that they will not fool me. Even once.

Well, you speak like a woman who has a cabinet that has a working lock.

Our old librarian used to make us promise that if anything happened to her, not to let the junior fire rescue kids resuscitate her.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I love pockets. I hate clothes without pockets. They may make my hips look bigger, I don't care. I use one pocket for the store key and the golfcart key. The other pocket is where I put bits of debris while patrolling the park. I lead a life full of surprises. Like, surprise, blogger is allowing me to post comments!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I have to have pockets. Just in case I want to stash something. I'm not dragging a purse through life.