What is with these people who don't sort out their money before stuffing it in a billfold (get it, it's called a billFOLD) or purse or pocket? Don't they know that the biggest denomination should go in the back, then the others in order, with the crispest bills in back and the limpest in front, before folding once, in half? How can people not know that? Sweet Gummi Mary!
In no way, shape, or form is it proper to leave your bills all dog-eared and asymmetric! No no no no no! That will make the king take extra time in the counting house, counting out his money! Which means the queen will have too much time to eat bread and honey. So much, in fact, that she might not fit out the parlor door. And that poor maid will be left hanging clothes for so long in the garden that the blackbirds can snip off not only her nose, but both ears, her bottom lip, and one eye. Which has a tendency to make a maid a bit surly.
So keep it up, money messers. Before long we'll all be coming down with food poisoning from eating blackbird pie made by surly, one-eyed, earless, gaping-mouthed, noseless maids.
Thanks a lot.