Friday, February 8, 2013

A Mansion Is Missing Its Pony

I am without the company of my little Pony this evening. He is spending the night with Grandma.

I do not like life without my boyservant. He DID agree to accompany me to The Devil's Playground to assist in the weekly shopping after school. But the two bucks I gave him for the game room stopped there. My mom was waiting on the parking lot when we exited, to whisk him away for the sleepover. There was a slight interlude as Mom climbed into T-Hoe to discuss breaking news of my driver's license renewal yesterday. But that's another story for another place.

Bringing in groceries without The Pony is a chore. Like a cog has been ripped from the well-oiled machine. Not only did I have to carry all bags from T-Hoe's rear compartment to the porch--I also had to carry them into the Mansion. And put them away! All by myself! It was as if a cog had been ripped from the efficient marketing machine.

I hurt my arm carrying a bag of heavy duty paper plates, family-size can of cream-of-chicken soup, medium box of low-sodium chicken broth, and a can of whole cashews. Actually, I was also carrying nine other bags at the time, so it was probably a combination, not just that one bag. And I would likely have been fine, had I not lifted that arm up to deposit the myriad of plastic pouches onto the cutting block for household distribution. By me, myself, and I.

In the NASCAR bathroom next to my office, I found a tube of Thera-Gesic. I did not check for an expiration date. I rubbed some onto my outer upper left arm. It did not take all the pain away, but it helped.

I think I need to make a trip to The Devil's Playground tomorrow for some Thera-Gesic. Hope I don't hurt my arm carrying it into the Mansion. Youth. They are so supple and fast-healing.

6 comments:

Sioux said...

I remember a moment when I was 35. It is still a distinct memory. We were playing badmitton in my brother-in-law's backyard. The birdie flew over their fence. I thought, 'I'll just leap up, land perfectly on the top rail of the fence, crouched, perch there for an instant, and then jump into the neighboring yard.'

The reality was a bit different, and far more hilarious.

Now, almost 20 years later, I still manage to entertain.

(All the wild men with big cigars and gigantic cars
They're all laughing at me now
Oh I've been used...used...
I've been a fool...oh what a fool.)

Yep, even men with big cigars find me laughable.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
That badminton moment must have been the craziest party that could ever be. Perhaps you should have heeded the advice of your mama: "That ain't no way to have fun, no!"

Sioux said...

Did I stump you or (much more likely) did your steeljaw trap of a memory stump me?

What is "That ain't no way to have fun, no!" from?

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Having met Sioux in person, I can "see" this in my mind's eye!

I will be 60 this year and I fear that my joints may have hit their expiration date. I will have to try yout thera-gesic. I have been using Tiger Balm.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
That, Madam, happens to be a line from the classic 3 Dog Night song, "Mama Told Me Not To Come." Perhaps you might have heard it, had you not been so busy making the show go on.

********
Kathy,
Make sure to read the Thera-Gesic dosing instructions. It might have aspirin (or its real name, salicylic acid) in it. No need to overdose and get ringing in your ears. AND...I read on the internet about a girl who died from too much BenGay! Of course, with your medical background, I'm sure you check into these things.

I think my son used to call that stuff Thera-Geezer. It's on the aspirin aisle at The Devil's Playground.

Sioux said...

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Foiled again...