Sunday, February 24, 2013

Every Potty Has Its Pooper

Farmer H and the #1 son spent several hours removing a toilet today.

Actually, the toilet removal took less than five minutes. It was everything else that took hours. They have been replacing the diamond-patterned, blue-and-white linoleum floor of the boys' bathroom with a replica of a hockey arena. No ice, of course. But a shiny piece of wood with all the requisite markings and stripes. They did the half under the sink a couple weeks ago, and today was the toilet half's turn.

I suggested to Farmer H that he might as well just replace the toilet. Not that we're made of money, and tear out toilets every time we use one. We're not exactly the artist formerly known as Prince. And it's not that our sons' waste material is strong enough to plug a leak in the Hoover Dam. We've had that toilet for fifteen years. I think we can fancy up the place with a new one during the makeover.

The #1 son remained behind (heh, heh, I said behind in a post about toilets) while Farmer H took off to Lowe's for the replacement. I chose not to hang around with bated breath waiting on the arrival of the new pooper. So the incoming throne was installed without my supervision.

While I was cooking supper, Farmer H started a conversation with me from the living room. He loves to do that. It's like a hobby with him. He especially cherishes these talks when I am trying to hear the lying meteorologists, or when I have the exhaust fan running on the stove.

"How do you like the new toilet?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen it."

"I asked for the best toilet they had." (I envisioned Al Bundy and his Ferguson. The King of Toilets). "It's an old people's toilet. Kind of high."

"Great. The boys have an old people's toilet."

"I kind of like it. You will, too."

With that introduction, I had to go check it out. It's only an inch or two taller than our other toilets. No support bars on it. No lifty thingy that pushes you back to standing position.

I'm hoping there's not a walk-in tub in the boys' future.


Sioux said...

You can always get each of them a Rascal to make up for no lifty thing and no support bars.

They could then get into a race with some people who are genuine senior citizens.

Hillbilly Mom said...

And maybe they can find an old man with a Jamaican housekeeper who will ask them to dip their bald head in oil and rub it all over her body. Just as long as they don't accidentally grind the old man's false teeth in the garbage disposal.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I have a high toilet and love it!! But the walk-in tub has issues. First of all, they are a littlke too spendy for my budget and second ....... how do you get out should the drain clog? I have given this a whole lotta thought. In the wee hours of the morning when I am redecorating the house with my friend, Insomnia .....

Hillbilly Mom said...

I never thought of that problem with the walk-in tub! My friend Narcolepsy and I rarely do anything constructive.